One Step Ahead

Few more days to August so what have I done in July? Apart from the daily rotting at home, I actually had some time for myself to do something that I usually don't. First week of July I met up with Lauren and we made a day trip to the SEA Aquarium and I really loved her accompany. Despite the gap that spans across our age but she is more like a sister to me than just a friend. We almost have message everyday on Facebook to keep ourselves updated. I would really appreciate if we have more time together. =)

Next up is Andrew's birthday which was last week at their new apartment. I was pretty conservative this time not doing anything significant sometimes I believe by making things simple is better than the other way round. Had time to catch up with my classmates and coursemates who all have made their first step in their career. Nothing much to fancy with but I realise one thing in common which everyone was trying to sell their company by telling people how good their current job is. Not too sure if I am gonna be one of them soon but even if I do, I won't stay too long doing the same routine everyday to get up by 7 and get off by 6.

I have already started to plan my RTW (Round The World) trip which I will do it latest by 25 or 26. So now I have a few more years to prepare and get ready especially the financial part. I asked my dad few weeks ago how much would he give me if I were to work with him. He said probably about the same of what I am going to earn in Singapore but in MYR. I was like no way that's gonna be 2.5 times lesser. He was kind of outrage saying what am I expecting when I already have a Peugeot and a place to stay if I were to go back. Fair enough I guess I am on my own this time for RTW trip. I have to save enough money that will last me a year to see the world. It is hard to tell if I am able to achieve that but I already have a goal set for myself. Consider myself fortunate as I only have to focus on how to manage and adjust my income to meet my saving target, my bachelor and master support are still on my parents (although I wish I could be more independent but judging from the current situation, big sigh). 

I have a different feel for Singapore now even with the people I used to hang out with. A lot of time I find what people are doing contradicts with the situation they are in. For instance when someone's bank account is approaching zero but still have no sense of alert, maybe a little without real action taken. Still longing good food (as in fine dining) at the expense of traveling far away which adds on burden to transportation fee. If I were in that situation I would prefer cheap eat (like Indian food) or maybe homecooked meal. I will try to find alternative that can stretch my dollar further. I read about a travel forum few days back and one of the rules was "try to hang out less with the people who are not intend to travel because the way of spending would be different." Soon or later I would start to isolate myself from unnecessary spending spree that will jeopardise my reach to the goal. Nowadays I feel happier to hang out with travellers because they all seems to be more open-minded and easy-going. We share our life not afraid to be known by strangers, literally no border in between us. I would do things my own way yet no question asked, revealing one's true hidden identity. I miss all the good time with full time travellers as I love to be bounded by big and small interludes that arise surprise. I miss traveling and I love it now.

*I do not know why but now I find it annoyed when people question my accent. What has Australia done to me? I find it comfortable the way I speak English now but I do not know how does it sound like in other's ears. What Jeremy said was also true - I cannot stand very very typical Singlish now with very strong and heavy tone, like trying to articulate every single word. God luckily English in Malaysia is more Malay influenced which sounds more of standard English than awkward. 

Restart Afresh

Finally, I made a move. I always thought that I gonna stay at my aunt place for indefinite time in Singapore. But things happen and story changes from time. My aunt has some issue with her husband thus my parents asked me to shift. First time moving house and now I know how much junk I have got in my room. So fucking lot of clothes, about a third of them are brand new I mean those still with tags on! I could not believe how much I used to love shopping. If I have saved the amount of money I wasted on unnecessary things I definitely can go traveling for an extra month in New Zealand. I feel so silly at the old me. I love how I have changed since I met those fabulous people in Australia, a trip that gave me an invaluable experience and lesson.

So let's start on my new room. This is how it looked like when I first moved here. It was equipped with basic furniture - a wardrobe, a single bed and a small side table. 

So I did some research online to look for cheap furniture, I start becoming a cheapskate trying to cut down unnecessary expenditure for which I would rather spend my money doing traveling some time later. In the end I think IKEA has the best deal. Picture below shows what I have ordered from IKEA. Cheapest swivel chair at IKEA for $35, KILBY bookcase for $69, a white table (in brown box wrapping that lies on the wall) and a 195 X 133 carpet. The picture was when I was halfway fixing everything.

 My study corner - a bookcase complete with a high pile dark pink carpet

My charmig white table is fixed. Got my printer, MacBook and penguin table lamp set up. I have to be honest I like my room so much now. =)

My bed. Got a bed linen set from NTUC nearby. Blue fleece blanket I bought from Philip Island in Melbourne. The brocoli plush toy I got from IKEA last year and Tigger which I got as an exchange gift from Inggrid during Christmas last year.

I originally wanted to take a panaroma picture of my room but the picture did not come out very good. I guess panaroma was meant for taking scenery than enclosed room. I have to express my gratitude towards IKEA for making my room looks so clean and modern now at a fraction of price I would pay for if I sourced everything from other furniture store. Although having to fix everything on my own was really tiring but it definitely worth it when you see the end product you built up from scratch.

This evening I finally had my long awaited video call with my besties. The last time I met them was in December? God it has been more than half a year. Love the fun conversation and I wish everyone all well. Looking forward to our next meetup! =)

A Concoction of F - Fun, Friendship and Future

FUN

Still remember couchsurfing from my last post? As soon as I had Lauren, Duncan and Arturo as my first wave of surfers. I had second wave after resting for a week. My parents were not very happy with my second wave as they were complete strangers to me, just some random travellers who put up open request on couchsurfing.org. Dad was skeptical about their personality although I rest assured him with the good references on their (Marti from Barcelona and Caxia from Poland) profile. Despite some disagreements from my parents I insisted to host them. It has been awhile since rebellious last shown up but I was quite aware that if I did not host them that time I do not know when will I get the chance to do it again. My experience with couchsurfing has been amazing so far and I believe I will continue to benefit in the future. 

Beer buffet with couchsurfers and guests at hostel

from left: Caixa from Poland, Justin from Wellington, me, Marti from Barcelona, guy from Canada, Jereon from Holland, Stephen from the UK, Symon from Sydney, last three also from Canada.

FRIENDSHIP

afternoon I was at Brian's place still wondering what was going to happen next as it was my first time doing couchsurfing and Brian told me there were a few girls from Germany, United States and Austria arriving that night. Not knowing what to expect but I was getting a mixed of both anxiety and excitement at the same time. The next day we went outing in a big group. Brian was like our guide showing us around Darling Harbor in Sydney. That was when I started to get a closer chance to have proper conversation with Lauren. I forgot what the conversation was but I remembered there was a part where we were talking about hobbies and I told Lauren I am sort of like an IT geek and she asked if I could fix the problem which she couldn't play certain video on her Mac. I have the problem solved the following day. At night we went out around Redfern to hunt for Indian food (Lauren explored the area earlier on so we were following her instinct). We found the place and I had rice with some chicken curry if I didn't remember wrongly. We were sharing our travel experience during the meal. I learnt that she was going to China, Japan then Indonesia after Australia but not Malaysia. I was like "Why not come to Malaysia since you're going to Indonesia?" She said she will look into that but I thought she just said that as a gesture of goodwill not to turn me down. 

When Lauren was in Sapporo...

She wrote me a message on Facebook asking me how long would be sufficient for her to spend in Malaysia. I was suggesting a few days in Penang and Langkawi or any other island on the Peninsula like Redang or Tioman and maybe a week and a half in Borneo. We were doing this discussing remotely on Facebook for a few weeks before she finally confirmed her itinerary for Malaysia. Lauren ended up spending a week in Kuching. We went to Gunung Gading to see the largest flower on earth, went trekking in the tropical jungle, spotted Proboscis monkeys in wild, tried most of the local delicacies and billions more. I had to admit that it was the most fulfilled week I've spent in Kuching for my vacation back home that round. Not only that through couchsurfing we also met other travelers from Australia, France and Spain who joined us for most of the excursions we have done together in the vicinity. 

Three weeks later...

We met again in Singapore. Although this is the shortest time we traveled together (2 days) but the fun level always stayed on peak. Did some really touristic thing in Singapore which I reckon we were both not used to. Went to the shopping district in Orchard road, seen the Marina Bay Sands, Gardens by the Bay and the highlight was the SEA Aquarium (it claims to be the world's biggest but seriously not jaw dropping huge to me at least). Had our old-fashioned Indian food, dumpling noodles which I doubt if she would have it again and of course some really good ice-cream and gelato. I was trying to squeeze in as much as I could to let Lauren experience the most of Singapore in such a short duration. The outcome was definitely exhaustion bounded with heaps of fun that never failed to cease.

Finally we waved again at Changi airport. I don't know when are we going to see each other again but definitely not as soon. She told me she has a feeling that we're going to meet in the States. That sounds so encouraging and I hope her instinct is right.

We've met 3 times within 5 month in 3 different countries. Can you imagine that? I am amazed by how our friendship grows. Totally psyched. 

FUTURE

Always wonder how will my life be in the next few years. I am definitely going to spend a few year in Singapore before further plan is made. Three years ago Singapore was always my dreamland, I spent almost every school holidays here. With the strong "settlement" of almost half of my relatives here I somehow call Singapore my second home. So when I decided to come here for studies I was quite happy as I do not need to worry settling myself to a whole new environment, everything just felt kind of familiar. When I was young (in high school when I frequent Singapore) I always admired Singapore how advance the city state is and always wanted to move here. My dad even wanted to send me here when I was in Form 3 but luckily I did not. Or else my Mandarin and Malay would not be as good as my English is now. In my impression, Singapore used to be a perfect city - clean, readily available public transport, world leading economic hub, almost corruption free government and a lot more.

Everything started to change when I moved here to pursue my diploma. For me who originated from big land getting suffocating in small unit here. Houses are way too small for my comfortability. I had also encountered some biased treatment in my college, those who are familiar knew what was going on. You can refer to my earlier post if you want to find out more but I suggest you not to. I tend to enjoy my life now and put aside those which drag my mood down. Most of the things on the island are artificial. Man made island Sentosa, man made trees at Gardens by the bay even the entire suburb Marina is built on the sea. I am now more inclined towards nature in pursue of discovering wild flora and fauna and that just would not happen here. Too many retails. Shopping is one of the reasons why I used to love Singapore. There are shopping malls everywhere to fulfil everyone's desire from the luxurious designers chain along Orchard to wallet friendly brand names like H&M, Zara, Uniqlo and so on. Singapore is definitely one of the shopping paradise for shoppers. Now I would rather spend my money on experience than materialism. By experience I mean travel to see how the rest of the world differ from where I live, difference in culture, food, practice and almost everything.

To make it short, I love Singapore as how organised it is. This city is no longer a place where I would want to spend the rest of my life with. It now serves as a jumping board to achieve my dream to do a round the world trip - which is I want to save up enough money to travel a year round the globe few years later. My blue plan in 5 year time:

1 Get at least a Master degree

2 Round the world trip

3 Pan Borneo road trip

4 Start up

I wish

Dirty Paws by Of Monsters And Men

*A song that keeps looping on my iTunes

It's A Small World

It all happened with me trying to cut my expenses traveling in Australia. I remember that time I was still in Japan. Every evening after I came back from work I will spend hours looking up the net, surfed through hundreds of hostel booking sites, read through thousands of reviews trying to get the best deal for my accommodation in Sydney. Then I banged to this site - couchsurfing.org. A platform where users offer hospitality exchange as well as social networking. It works on the concept as members "surf" on couches by staying as a guest at the host's house, host travellers or join events. It was not turn up well when I had my first few attempts sending requests to several hosts in Sydney, either I don't get a reply or they rejected my request. I kept trying until two days before I am going Sydney, a host named Brian Kozan accepted me. With a mixed feeling bombarded by both excitement and worry I dragged my black Samsonite all the way from Melbourne to Sydney, not knowing what is awaiting me ahead. It might turn up to be a whole new experience for me to travel in a new way or might become a nightmare what if my host is some kind of psychotic criminals wanted to take advantage of ignorant traveler like me?

I welcomed by a close to 7 feet tall guy speaking a very easy to understand American accent. (I have to admit I did have problem understanding some of the Western Australia's accent) He was originally from Arizona, Phoenix and has moved to Aussie for about 3 years. The reason being so was he thought Americans are way too pessimistic, well I keep no comment on that. After chatting I learned that I was the only surfer at his house. There were 1,2,3,4...9 yeah altogether 9 of us (excluding Brian) in his 2 bedrooms apartment. At first I thought God this is way too much! How could you let 9 strangers in your house and sleep, you ain't so desperate to make new friend right? I was the only surfer that time when I arrived in early evening. When the night screen was shutting in, more surfers turned out eventually. 2 from Germans, 1 Austria, 1 American, another 3 Germans and another German who is friend of the first two arrived Germans. They were all girls but me and Brian. Eventually we started to blend in well and have fun. We toured around Sydney harbour, went to the landmark - Sydney Opera House, had a sip of good beers and threw in parties. I love that everyone although of different nationalities and cultures but was able to mix together, had a fair share of talking especially exchanging our experience of different countries that we have been. I never thought it was gonna be so great, so fabulous!

Read out more about my profile at couchsurfing, click here. =) (read the reference at bottom right and you will find out how much you've missed out!)

I met Lauren (the American surfer at Brian's place) and we hanged out a little in Sydney on our own. She was going to make a visit to Indonesia after Australia, China and Japan so I was telling why not stop by Malaysia since Indonesia is just neighboring. At first she was still skeptical if that might worth it. She was kind of convinced after that. She left Sydney earlier than me so I thought there might not be follow up. Few weeks later when I was back in Malaysia I received her Facebook inbox asking me the POI of Malaysia apart from KL. I told her to go Langkawi, Penang, and of course Borneo. Initially she only planned a 4 days trip in Kuching but in the end extended to a full week. Since we were going to many national parks and gonna drive around I put up a public offer on couchsurfing forum asking if any traveler in Kuching would like to take up the empty rear seats and join us. Duncan from Melbourne responded almost immediately. Then we had Carina from Austria (friend of Duncan in the same guesthouse)  with us to Gunung Gading to spot the Rafflesia. Day after we had Arturoo from Spain and Nicolas from France to join us for Bako. Lots of fun we had and we did enjoy to the max. We saw the Proboscis monkey, had one of the best seafoods they ever had, chilled out at rooftop bar and lots more.

I started to appreciate the beauty of this planet as a big melting pot for different cultures to blend in making it such a vibrant thing to explore. I used to love shopping but after this I would rather spend my money on experience to see the rest of the world.

At jetty to Bako National Park

Seafood dinner

"Meow..." cat museum

48 Days In Crib

I do not know where the urge to blog came from. But certainly all the things that happened in these two months have piled up tons of complications which may or may not affect me afterward. Firstly, I dream about Australia almost every night - the place, the culture, the people and almost everything in OZ especially Melbourne. Secondly, I guess I just fell into a trap which I could not help myself even I was deemed guilty. Thirdly, Malaysia has officially become democratic. Forth, yeah the place I spent three years sucks, and still. Lastly, I fell down, and it was not an ordinary abrasion. 

The Australian Dream

This is my first backpacking ten thousand miles away from home. (Okay, not exactly backpacking but I have kept everything simple in one luggage and carry the spirit to explore culture on my own then just mere following tour). The fun of backpacking is to explore the most at minimal cost. For my entire trip, I did not spend a single cent on accommodation, and my biggest harvest was to make friends from all over the world - Italians, Germans, British to Americans. I never thought I will fall in love for down under so much after spending a month there. The vibrancy of the culture which beautifully blend in ethnics of different background, the exceptional friendliness of all despite skin colours, the high standard of living but not to the extend of sacrificing the comfortability of home. Making my trip to Australia was one of the best decisions I have ever made and am looking forward to return there again, probably end of the year.

Perth

Melbourne

Sydney

Instinct VS Guilt

7 years ago I fell into your trip, it broke my virgin experience. Today, it has evolved into something more complicated than what I could ever thought of. It is uncontrollable but sometimes it is hard to against your instinct.

Malaysia = Democracy (Ini cadangan ke soalan?)

I love this place where I call home. I am fortunate enough to witness the 13th GE. This appear to be a  significant event where Malaysia is marching towards a more mature democracy practice. Although the majority voice might not be heard, but I believe one day the country will belong to the people.

Last DAP's Kuching rally on eve of polling date record a turnout of more than 50k

Bitch is forever bitch

Because when people do not care whether you are alive or dead, you try your best to ignore. When you yearn for peace people come to stir your happiness. Even monasticism was not able to meditate with clear thoughts. I have enough of those people who never understand the true meaning of mutual harmony. Three years back I always wondered why did this red dot received such a low ranking for happy index. Today I accept the fact with no second doubt. 

Do not take abrasion easy

I fell down and got infected. Currently on medication and wish me speedy recovery.

Misc.

It might happen, MIGHT only  ok! My mother-in-law..

You are the reason I wanna stay

That Term

That one day I remember after couple hundred days of friendship (some people would call it a year or two, I just try to make thing sounds more impressive) we declared ourselves - brotherhood. A line that was drawn a step further than just friendship signifying we have more things in common to share, no more haggling over every single ounce, more open minded and literally no secret in between. Gemini is an outward type, brim with wits bundle endless energy and creativity. The superficial nutshell might not be the best representation but definitely not the one to disperse focus on so many trails that I will wake up to tons of unfinished works.

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Perspective

After spending a quarter of year traveling around the world, mostly Japan and Australia I find myself changed a lot. Tend to be more relaxed and following what my mind tells me to, instead of fighting the authority trying to claim our losing rights. I need a place where I can focus on developing my interest, freely express my creativity without being interfere by people why simply couldn't think out of box and narrow minded. I used to keep up with the movement of Malaysia's politics, trying to be part of the new generation to counter the corrupted governing party but I have since given up. I realize with the same of amount of energy I would better of after my dream to achieve something I like rather than wasting time on something that might not even happen. The government simply abuse us inhumanly by strictly controlling media platform nationwide (by channeling false news), unexplainable voting working committee (winning vote by bribery) - everything is just dirty. (If you lived in Malaysia you know it)

After living in Japan for 2 months and a month in Australia I just want to migrate. I still love Malaysia but not in the form breathing under the BN, we need democratic fresh air. However with the mistake I made 3 years back I have to pay back for it. I owed Singapore 5 year bond which I wanted to breach it so much. I wanted to ask my parents to break the bond for me but it is hard to overcome my ego, like I have to admit how repentant I am for nodding saying "yes" during the interview, I was just too desperate to leave Malaysia that time. If I were to follow the plan my parents drafted for me I would have been in Melbourne without owning anyone else. Not that I don't like Singapore, it's just a small overpopulated island with limited resources for everyone else. The only thing I could remember doing every weekend is to go out shopping or dine in in different neighbourhood different malls overall pretty much the same routine. There are no nice beach, good hill to hike or thick jungle to trek. I need a place where I can freely express myself, have tons of outdoor activities for me to do and diversified culture society where I could blend in easily. Only a few that make it to the list - Australia, New Zealand, America, Canada.

Japan

It has been awhile really. You can imagine how tired I am everyday after work that I don't have that last bit of energy to blog. But I am back tonight because I have so much to tell after one month. Tonight dinner was so exceptional and encouraging which push me even more to reinvigorate this dusted virtual diary.

"When you expect the least, 

you receive surprise." 

If you asked me to summarise my life in Japan for the past one month. I have to admit that I am more than reluctant to depart for Japan initially. Japan has nothing that I am fancy about, if you really want me to say one maybe anime like Bleach, Naruto or One Piece. Other than that nothing else, not even to touch on the red light area where most of my friends are hyped about - the unholy amount of pornography in Japan (yeah, I think I still prefer American and European pornography). But as soon as time elapsed, I find the Japanese culture is no far from German ones. Their open minded thinking and how they take responsibility of their assignment. When we say 8 o'clock, punctuality tops all of your agendas. When it comes to work, seriousness is virtue.

I feel like I am a real engineer here. I do not perform miscellaneous tasks like most of the internships are doing. The first task I was assigned to was to co-develop the cutting technology with a junior engineer and senior engineer (also our supervisor) for titanium alloy (Ti6Al4V) using mild carbon steel (S48C) as baseline. I learnt to analyse material physical properties and comparing it to base material for tool and cutting parameter selection using radar chart. But the more challenging part is my current second task which is to research on selecting the most suitable parameters for milling the new stainless steel alloy (KHR35CT and another two which I forgot the codename). This project is a real industrial project by customer from Saudi Arabia. Customers want to check on the capability of JTEKT (Toyoda) machine capability to cut the hardened alloy for cutting petrol pump casting. If the test result turns out positively, customers will buy machine from JTEKT.

Living in Japan is basically of very high standard, probably the highest in the world. You pay premium for almost everything here except a handful of stuff which you can get it from 100 yen shop (Daiso and so). But paying more means you are receiving something of really high quality which leave you peace at mind. Basically you do not need to worry for anything you buy here, from food to goods to service almost everything is strictly inspected before it reaches to the customers. I am a person of little psycho which seek perfectionism for things I throw interest in so this might be the place best matches my attribute.

Miss home? Hrm maybe a little for Kuching. Keeping in touch with my family almost everyday means I am with them every moment. I feel their presence here which makes me feel more homy than ever. The only thing is I miss about Tail. Since she is taking her foot off in Kuching to London ten days later. That's all I have to lose. Singapore? Piece of shit if I ever could I would not even feel like returning to that hopeless land. Those people in NYP is making me losing my faith even once I thought of giving up because of you and you. My classmates, codename26, breakfast club, friends and juniors are all I am missing. If I could extend my stay in Japan, I would really love to. At least I am more focus on engineering interest rather than to whirl myself in the pool of politics.

Whatever it is I am starting to countdown to go back in a month time. And I cannot wait to touch down in KL to smell Malaysia in March. And then will fly off to Australia where I will reunion with most of my secondary classmates. 

(I am actually still regret why I did not take up my parents' decision for me to finish my foundation in Kuching and continue my degree in Melbourne. I was too impetuous to leave Kuching that time that I ended up here. But for the path I have taken, I will continue to march with His guidance.)

Back

When I don't blog, it means I have better thing to do than blogging.
Now I am back to blog again.
Stay tuned.

The Second Time

He replied my message as if nothing was found abnormal. Maybe I did not belong here, not even from the start. I am just getting more left out maybe it was me who started isolating myself. I guess it was a deviated move I tried to keep myself alone, nobody had ever tried to understand the social pressure which kept my head down. Tail was so far away I could not convey my message properly and worse still she could not decipher the complicated situation well enough. People whom I expected the most rendered the least. But those I did not had intention with, lent me an ear to hear and a hand to pat on my shoulder. I was discouraged at that time. I spent my thoughts to think for a best christmas gift which will serve its purpose to embark our friendship which is extending into our third years of studies, I tried to make it worthy that will last along with our friendship. Finally we are assembled again this week but I prefer it better when we were apart all over the world. It does not make any difference when everyone is physically present or not. I do not know who or what should I cling onto now. My heart has grown so strong to on par with the people I socialize with in my daily life. The little foundation I laid to sustain my long term vision has shattered bits by bits, further and further, maybe it's time for me to look for new blood whom I can entrust for this crucial time. I need a really really strong team and people with burning passion. Sorry dad, I know you have invested a lot on me wanting me to excel one day and to inherit what you have built up but what I am doing now is exactly what you were doing decades ago. Like father like son. 

I Lost Faith

I am impressed by how these people run errand. Just about a year ago, it was my first time to get in touch with this matter. Back then I was quite assured that I had nothing to worry about - this is Singapore, a first world country, the only Asia's country tops the least corrupt government, the best livable city in Asia, everything is on the lead based on the meritocracy system. I was so amazed by how this tiny dot achieved such as exceptional quality of living until I found out that meritocracy was not a norm here, it only seems to be. I have been through it myself for almost a year and have been taking the looks how people threw at me, how people mocked behind me, how high my parents' expectation was, how strong my ego was... ...I always told myself "everything is going to be alright, this is an obstacle God throws at me aim at turning me stronger." Even with my constant self-motivation, I would have lost myself without the guidance from her. She was the only one who stayed by my side when I almost gave up, when I almost lost all my hopes in everything I did. 

Today, she has finally given up. My core psychological and spiritual support all these while has broken down. If the person who has always been supporting me is falling, it means the impact was too strong. Even the toughest shield is corroded by the most ruthless weapon. The same thing happened again this year. The only difference is the buffer period is so short we do not even have time to appeal for a second or third time. In addition to that Z is now the so called "overall-in-charge" he has authorisation to give a pass or red card to all the applicants based on his special formulae. Even after we submitted an appeal he beat around the bush and replied with a well worded email. Of course I am upset, I have been through exactly the same thing. Last year, I had few days to collect evidence for appeal purpose and had enough time for the "panel" to consider . He is clever enough this year that he cuts short the buffer period so the risk that changes might incur to the list is reduced to minimal. He is the mentee to my mum and key person of DPE IMPACT, she has lost her credibility in students. It will be more challenging to attract juniors to the club in the future because what we promise is always empty ones. I have to admit that Z is a very delicate person and in the world of politics, people like him will not fall or barely will.

I am shocked when I received another email this morning. She always told me she wanted to quit but yet to see any actual move from her. I know her well. She always complaint how tired and stressed up she was but she never stops giving herself in rendering her maximum effort to make sure every DPE event runs smoothly, more importantly she wants everyone of us to learn and improve from where we are short of. The nightmare finally happened today. I know it was for real. If this relinquishment is sought after, we are going to lose a huge pile of morale support. I cannot imagine DPE juniors' future. There will no longer be anyone to stand on students' behalf, to speak for our welfare.

I am sorry there is nothing much I could do to counter this upset situation. I tried to scrutinize your CCAs transcript and furnish it to look more convincing but... It is not that you are not good, it is just that you luck was not there that he has chosen you to be the scapegoat like what happened on me. I can feel how exactly it feels like in your position but embrace through it. Time will eventually fade away the pain. Focus on studies and I believe result is what we are more concerned with. 

I am so fed up I do not anticipate to Japan anymore. I do not feel proud of it at all. Behind this internship it is all about filthy procedures, dirty tricks and all the bad ingredients which degrace one's personality. The reasons why I am still holding to it are for the fame of DPE IMPACT, the sacrifice my mum has made for me, the expectation of my own parents and of course to crush you down, if possible.

I hope karma is true and will strike you one day.

697th

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