反方向

看不到的面孔，是否叫想念

看不到的思念，是否叫盼望

奢望的安宁，无法拥有

唯一的安慰，是头上的一片星空

曾经抱怨不公平，社会太黑暗

殊不知夜晚的星空也不黑暗吗

是那点点的繁星点缀了夜晚

赋予了生命

夜晚并不可怕

可怕的是当你变成黑暗的一面

要变成永远闪烁的星星

不要被夜给吞噬了

-

那一年我们望着星空

有那么多灿烂的梦

以为快乐会永久

想不变星空陪着我

回忆着青春

何时偷偷陨落

I Have Been Through

People failed me, reason being simple is to put me in dismay or to achieve personal's goal. The rationale behind why God let him did this to me because He loves me, He wants to nurture me to become stronger. The reason being tough is because you are meant to be different.

Time is magical. It leaves mark, be it the jubilant moment or darkest hour. There are times when you feel short to own the every single happiest hour. It's not, the most notable moment is when you have been through the darkest hours and ready to welcome the breaking dawn. It leads to a more fulfilling moment rather than empty laugh. The longer you hold yourself through, the better milestone you will achieve.

Distance takes effect when mile comes in plural. When you could not reach certain distance at your liking because it is too far away. Only when distance established and becomes valid in life, you know what cherish means.

You have people in life who treat you well and sometimes equivalent to family. Especially when you are away from home, these people will take a more significant role affecting your everyday lives. I take things for granted, thinking as this is the way it should be by rights. Totally wrong, people have planning and they have the rights to draft their own agenda. When you started to walk alone in the street, you will realize how self-centered you were.

Learning is a life long process, there's never an end.

The Lesson

The reason I failed is because I trusted many treacherous traitors within my own rank.

Couldn't Believe It

最终无法接受出卖我的是我最信任的老师。

BFF

Except Fabian and Jimmy, I think nobody truly understand what to say and do when I am down. I miss those time when you guys filled out the missing me. I have lost myself again. And this is really rare.

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Who

Who can I talk to?

Who knows the situation best?

Who can give me best advise?

Best consolation?

I am strong

For too long

I Won't Give Up

I Am Really Sad

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Gratification

When you say

"There is nothing you can do during exams. Leave it to me. Study hard and maintain your results"

I know I have nothing to worry anymore.

Walking In The Middle Of Nowhere

Today the list is finally out, and it wasn't the list which I knew before this. I believe at least 2 new people have been drawn in and somebody has been ousted and I am the one being fooled. Before I write this post, I have been thinking hard whether to encrypt this post or to make it public as what you are reading now. Ya, I chose to make it public because I think there are too many dark sides inside the school politics and my part is just like a tip of the iceberg.

This afternoon after the list is known, I immediately rang my foster mum which sadly she couldn't pick up because she was in the middle of an external conference. I texted her later and every reply I got was a big astonishment, just like a continuous flow of waves with great interference. I discover as it is actually nothing much to do with my boss and assistant boss as I have been constantly working closely with them which I think they won't be cruel enough to let me vanish into thin air.

I wasn't blaming anyone else. Whom I blame is me myself. Initially I have put my mentor in difficult position as I have upset the proper procedure to pull in 4 people through the "under table" channel to the interview, and from the final outcome I see today, I have successfully pushed 2 of them into the final confirmation. I literally turn nothing to happen. Of course, what I have done must have upset my mentor as 3 of them are from my class which he later received notice from my boss to inform the earlier 4 for the interview session. I believe this incident could have greatly halter his opportunity to get his promotion. My mum has always tell me that my mentor is not a light and simple character, he has certain background. I am not aware of this despite the saying.

So now I understand "don't judge a book by its cover". People may appear to be helpful, cheerful and informative, in fact they are just observing you and trying to hide. I actually facebook chatted with my mentor this late evening and he said "I was initially out of the list but due to certain reasons, they decided to give me exemption and to give me another chance". It sounds like I should have appreciated rather than whining and bury my head under my pillow to tell my disappointment because I am extra, ya I am EXTRA, I wasn't even in considerations since the beginning. Why did you lie to me, is it too secretive to tell me the truth that you shifted me out?

Oh well, first I am the head of student leaders for my course. All the while I believe I have been performing well and behaving as how a leader should. I am a straight 4 pointer and was a top student, I have cumulative CCA points of more than 20 till date. Even if I don't rely on my position, I still hit all the top notch criteria to be selected.

I admit I was in great furious initially when I learnt this, but now I have calmed down (after drinking few cans of Carlsberg and Heineken) so I won't hate you. But you have developed a barrier in between us, when I encounter any problem, you won't appear first in my mind anymore. How you really define a mentor? Even at harshest time, I believe mentor is to guard all the mentees despite the risk of being sacrificed. Why? Why you couldn't have a heart like my mum whenever you are doing something, your starting point is for our sake, the sake of students, especially those registered under your name.

What I yearn is I just go through a normal procedure like anyone else. I do not want to come to this point where I need to do appeal again to gain entry into the list. I believe I still can make my way to the final destination but with a little bit of twisting in the process which I wish I could skip it. I wouldn't want this to happen if I were given a choice. Since young, I have never failed to achieve what I want, be it academic results, materialism or anything it could be. Once I set up a goal, there is no way but to strive it.

A lot of things I still have to depend on my own, I have learnt a lesson today - Independent rather then dependent, trust is only established for the one who deserves the most, not everyone project into your eyes.

For God Sake, I just need a moment of peace.

Companionship

It is finally here

The time has arrived

As time continues to march on

I realize how important companionship is

When I started to develop a strong sense of appreciation

Although it is not too late

But I do miss out some part of the story here and there

I have another year to decide whether to stay or leave

I went to consult my godmother the other day

She asked me to stay for a year to find out what my true interest is

"Don't get influence by your family business, 

you might find commerce interesting but it might not be your destiny."

-

Well, I started to construct and establish the concept for my CREAF dream

What I am lacking of is somebody who holds the same strong desire as me to become an entrepreneur

Because I don't want to inherit only what my family has

I have a dream to follow, to achieve, to realise

I wake up everyday reminding myself Warren Buffet's quotes

Because I need to keep the determination burning

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p/s: There is a big day in this month, I miss you, and the feeling gets stronger as time passes. Just another five more days, wait me.