Sunday, March 22, 2009

珍惜

最近一位朋友的爸骤然离世
我惊觉原来人类是那么脆弱
说走就走
得知这噩耗的前一天
我在其部落格才晓得她爸进医院了
事隔一天
她爸就已...
-
我当下是有股想哭的冲动
不是因为伤心
而是感到惋惜
在她的部落格里
我看到了她的无奈与无助
想帮助她的爸
怎么也使不上劲来
-
妈的状况似乎没有好转的迹象
几乎天天都到医院报道
从她憔悴的双眸
我看到了病魔高举胜利的手势
我每日与高脚杯为伴
这是所谓的“愁”吗?
-
我有些支架不住了
强忍的笑容还有多少明天?
微笑的面具几时会破裂?
我一个人受
一个人看透
在这被边缘的界限里
有多少人了解我?
-
是时候珍惜了
不用多说
也不必再问
一切尽在不言中
天下间
有谁不曾失去?
但真正去体验并珍惜生活的又有几个?
这一秒所拥有的
不代表下一刻还是你的
-
亲情、友谊、爱情
我重复了无数次
不曾厌烦
也不会腻
能珍惜的我都不会放过
亲情是我对家人的疼爱
友谊是我对朋友的坚持与爱戴
爱情是亲情与友谊的综合
-
请不要让
“珍惜”
成为你失去的遗憾
成为吸取教训的代价
成为你永远都无法禰补的痛
趁你还没失去前
好好珍惜你身边的每一个人吧
家人、朋友、爱人

Monday, March 16, 2009

写给自己的歌 - 黄义达


从来就没有人问过我长大後到底要做些什么
放弃学业後如今什么都没有 没什么可以骄傲
现在写的每首歌对我来说希望可以被人接受
虽然很多人不了解我 可是至少我还有个梦
我一个人走 一个人看透 一个人受
烟都抽的寂寞 酒里头带着忧愁
我一个人走 一个人看透 一个人受
路我自己选择 我一个人走
我的家人从不知道我这几年究竟在做些什么
直到这几年我才告诉他们我正在追求一个梦
他们没有反对 他们只能在我背後默默支持我
害怕他们一天天的老去 我只想带给他们快乐
我一个人走 一个人看透 一个人受
烟都抽的寂寞 酒里头带着忧愁
我一个人走 一个人看透 一个人受
路我自己选择 我一个人走
我不想多说 随口说说 可能喝的多
我从来就没埋怨过 那是因为我有个幸福生活
虽然很多人不了解我 可是至少我还有个梦
我一个人走 一个人看透 一个人受
烟都抽的寂寞 酒里头带着忧愁
我一个人走 一个人看透 一个人受
路我自己选择 我一个人走
我一个人走
烟都抽的寂寞 酒里头带着忧愁
我一个人走
路我自己选择 我一个人走

听了这么多首歌,不曾听到歌声如此赤裸,如此真实的声音。它的词完全描写了我的心情,配上了感伤的旋律,实在太美了。最近一直都在听黄义达的歌,他写实法的创作法感动了我许多。

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Mini Education Fair @ UNIMAS

Today should be a very nice Sunday when I can sleep til the sun is three poles high, but I had promised Miss Chai to join that what so ever education fair which spoilt my mood since early in the morning. Fine, as usual I received some "compliment" from my dad as he doesn't know where the place is. Lolz.

The first thing- lecture! I have nothing much to comment about for this lecture, a very usual lecture as the other lectures which I attended before. Due to that the topic today was something I were concerning about so I didn't doze off halfway during the talk. It lasted for an hour followed by another activity which let us to have a chance to look around and have some interactions among the undergraduate students here. I found out that some parts of the exhibition telling about fun facts engaged me the most. A passage written in spelling errors was pretty cool though I not really understand about the theory on how it works. It was a passage with all the vocabs spelled wrongly and it asked you to read through the passage. It stated that there are only 45 out of 100 people can read it which I don't think is very true because all my friends can read with ease.

Time flies. When the clock struck at 11.45am, we were given 2 hours for our lunch break. Well, me, Fabian and Melvin decided to enter the haunted house. But Melvin left the team without my notice. The haunted house appeared to be eerie when I first stepped into it because it was very dark inside as I couldn't even see my fingers. Well, I have some fun by "entertaining" those "ghosts" inside. First, I cheered to those who used hand phone to shine over their face. Later, I beat on a table back to a ghost who was doing that to me. It was quite fun but I were regretted that I came out in a prompt, I should take my time enjoying with those "ghosts". Pretty insane, haha.

Came to the practical session, me, Fabian, Boon Ping, Michelle, Chung Wui and others were assigned into Group C. We had a tour around the campus and I do find out that the facilities are not well supervised and maintained. The paint on the wall is shedding and most of the ceilings are broken as well. Luckily I don't see any leakage from the ceilings like what happened in the Parliament building. I don't think this situation is conducive for people like me to study here. Only a minor part of the students are Chinese and most of them are natives and Malays. What could I expect much from UNIMAS? A university ranking the top 50 in the world which then drop til the 220th position. There are reasons behind for everything that happened, I have no need to explain much as this might touch on some sensitive issues. By the way, specimens inside the laboratory were just enough to impress as I never seen these before. This is where I gained most of the scarce experience and knowledge which I could hardly obtained in my daily life.

Finally, came to the end of the fair. Fabian represented our school to say a few words. A short yet strong points made up his speech. I went off sharp after the closing ceremony as my dad was waiting me outside. 20 minutes later, I was sitting down in front of my lappie writing this post. It is indeed a long one. I have to clarify that what a wrong mindset I had in the beginning of the day, this fair was actually a very beneficial one for me.

Friday, March 13, 2009

陈绮贞

好久好久没好好欣赏这么一位有品的歌手了。是的,她是陈绮贞。独特的脸蛋儿里透露出她的深藏的气质,然而最为我津津乐道莫过于她那非凡的创作天才。出道的这些年里,所发行的专辑都是极品之作,我爱死了。睽违了三年,陈绮贞2009第5张专辑——太阳。这张专辑采用了简单优美的旋律,配上了木吉他的伴奏给成熟的作品被赋予完整的生命。我十分喜欢《鱼》、《太阳》与《狂恋》这3首歌。无法用言语表达这些歌曲的美,因为它已远远超乎了形容词所能形容的。陈绮贞充满感情的声音自由伸展、情绪完整并展现最真诚的时刻,这是一位优秀的歌手对音乐的坚持与态度。

有时间的朋友们,这里可下载
《太阳》   
《鱼》
好好欣赏吧!

需要与想要

好不容易渡过了两个星期的考试,虽然只是简单的小考,我却看得非常重,想必我对学业的要求变得严格了吧。躺在床上,往窗外望去,原来天空是那么蔚蓝,如清水般清澈。原本是想入个短眠,但脑子里紧绷的神经线却丝毫不松懈下来,有点辛苦,头开始痛了。十五分钟过去了,睡意随着时间的消逝而冲淡了。简考的结束印证了中考与高中考试的跫音近了。脑子里出现的画面越来越模糊,浮现的尽是些不快乐的事情,想着想着,我对我需要与想要的,终于弄清了方向。

起身,坐下,提笔,开始写了。

好久好久没好好写一篇文章了。我把这两年来所作所为、所见所闻,好好地反省并作了个简结。今天的思想中心围绕的是在“需要与想要”这个主题上。生活基本上在这两个词里形成了互动。“需要”指的是延续生命所需的必要元素;“想要”是一种生活的态度,在意的并不是必要的元素,而是要让生命过得更好,有者甚至用其为炫耀的一种后备或武器。

简单的拿个例子来说,我们每日三餐,基本的生活起居——衣、食、住、行,都是一种需要。是的,这都是身躯的满足,而并非心灵上的慰籍。非常感谢上帝让我生于这小康之家,生于斯,长于斯,所得到的远远超乎我所需要的。我是该满足了。但是,接二连三发生的事情一直在考验我心灵上的需要。现实社会仓促的步伐由不得我,每日与家人相伴的时间随着这趋势渐渐缩短了。不时拿起往年的相簿翻看着,想起童年与父母百分百相附的时刻,心里萌起了一股寒意。今时不同往日,与家人相伴的时候不再像以前那么多了。早上在学校;下午在空无一人的房子里;晚上在补习中心,这就是生活。与家人见面的时间,屈指一数,也只不过在车上或在饭桌上那短短的一、两个小时,这时间对我来说实在太少。

再者,母亲的生理状况不佳,一度休假几天没去上班。看着她那消瘦的身子,我的心情总是沉到谷底,一振不起。有时想起了不禁号啕大哭,深怕天公不作美。然而,忙碌的课业也无法让我有多余的时间伴在她身旁,聆听着她那耐人寻味的故事,并将心事吐之于她,轻松地聊个天。即使有空暇之余,妈大多也在床上歇息着。有时我按奈不住内心的悲动,一个人独自躲到房里,试着将眼泪往肚里吞,听听陈绮贞的歌,试着将自己与音符融为一体,喝着被稀释的红酒,试着将烦恼给忘却。

执着,太执着。

曾经,我执着于旁人的眼观、执着于我的中心思想、执着于太多太多的事情,现在我敞开了双手,才发现原来海洋那么辽阔,天空那么无际。高中初中一时,我曾与家里闹别扭,放弃了所有的东西,费尽了精神,一心一意为某个团体付出,不畏劳苦,求得只是那么一职。但是幸运女神从未向我微笑过,一度的失望曾让我想离开。最后,我还是不情愿将我付出的一切废于一旦,选择留了下来。是的,我错过太多太多学习的机会——无法参与国际性的露营、无法带领操步的团队去征赛、无法作主决定任何一件事情等。。。同时,基于我的执着,我放弃了其它的社团,到头来白忙一场。我那时承受的压力,不只是我个人的因素,家人也曾一度阻止我参与校内任何的活动,可说是禁足。崩溃到了极点,一度想放弃生命。那一念之差,曾狂啃止痛药,好让自己的头痛不再那么痛苦。庆幸的,被妈及时发现并阻止,防止悲剧的酿成。我所想要的只不过是个藉口,给自己磨练的机会其实在远方正等着我去挑战。

我感谢并庆幸所有一直在我身旁陪我走过的朋友们。没有你们一路上的支持与鼓励,我也没有机会在此与你们分享这则文章。“朋友”在我人生词典里永远是最重要的两个字。虽然曾经数落别人,但我却从不背叛友谊。这是我一直感到骄傲的。

我两年里,真的锐变了。从思想到行动,都有所成长。我好比一只蜗牛,在跑道上慢慢向前摸索并前进,试着抵达那看似永无尽头的终点。不畏怕粗糙的路面,不惧怕火红的太阳与疾风,背负着重大的躯壳前进,并相信曙光在不远处。同样的,我也背负着理想,在曲折的路上突破重围,抵达幻想国度的彼岸。

“需要与想要”,自己好好衡量吧,有一天,你会晓得其中的奥妙并在自己的学习国度里迈出一大步。

感谢主。