Good Start to End Bad

Maybe I am still wrapping up some bad shits I pooped last year

But this year gonna be a good year

Holding my breath and reassure myself

-

Out of the two weeks

Only get to see you for one

You went vacation the rest of the days

Sometimes sometimes

distance does matter

Too much or little

Nah, it all depends

-

I believe mutual support is crucial

Long ago, I always thought I could handle all the weight on my shoulder

But it's not when it is overflowing

There is a line to everything

At home, we have parents and family to share with

When outside, we have girlfriend or someone who you can fully entrust in

I might not be invisible

But I believe my silhouette is getting indistinct

I might not be available all the times to join every single outing

In my vivid memory, I remember at least you make an effort to ask

Maybe I am over sensitive thinking too much?

May it be or not

I will always giving you my support unknowingly behind the scene

-

Mum "He is in the 50/50 list, he might or might not get the chance"

Me "Is there anything to be done? I don't want to disappoint him"

Mum "Try to put him in a more significant role this Saturday so David will see him"

Me "Ok"

- the following day -

Me "How now?"

Mum "Ya, I think he is admitted to the confirmed list"

Me "Good news, btw thank you so much"

-

An Empty Bowl

Remember those time when grannie is gonna prepare glutinous ball dumpling

This year nobody is going to make me

Is either I do it myself or buy it outside

I miss those time

Really

-

Time elapsed

Death is sometimes not a thing to be fear of

It is just a process

Where every life has to experience

A non escape-able stage

-

Today I heard about her again

I don't know whether that was a subjective sentence from him

But time has nevertheless changed her so much

The last time I saw her was a year ago

Today, I nearly forgot how she was like

Although there was tiny dispute among us years ago

But we have been through so much

And I wish everything still remain like last time

It's kinda difficult

But memories are best kept

-

Anybody knows how the hard-felt feeling is when you recall memories

Which you've to try hard visualizing them because they are no longer real

Missing You

I am seriously missing

Jimmy Liu Dao Sheng

and

Esther Tan Yi Jing

-

I am sorry for not space out my weekend to skype

I know Blackcat is coming back from Melbourne very soon

I think I am getting to meet him somewhere end of December

But I wonder if I could meet Esther?

I will drive to your house on the 1st day of 2012 if you couldn't get out

Just a simple hug will do

It had been 365 days

And I don't want to wait another 365 more

*Did I tell you that I hate daylight saving so much cause it drags another hour more between Singapore and Auckland. It may seems insignificant to others but it means a lot to us who need to keep in touch when we are still awake.

Concoction

I went to Magomba to meetup with Edmund and his friend Gaius

I have no fucking idea what the concoction was

But Redbull was one of the elements that made it taste sweet

And some other liquor which doesn't carry much alcohol

Being said so I was feeling a bit tipsy at first

But the feeling went off very soon as I only drank a glass of Johny Walker

Both came back from Christchurch

Edmund was previously my classmate

And Gaius a Singaporean currently serving NS

I asked Andrew to join us to mix around

And I think he does find my friend a cool shit

Ain't you agree?

雨下

看完“那些年”后，在繁忙的人群中，我快步穿梭人群，只希望可以快些搭上巴士，回家去。细雨纷纷，把平时站在车站外的人群往里面挤，为的只是不要被淋湿。在步向车站的某处，隐约看见约似165的巴士，在寒风的吹袭下，拉上捷克的头盖，把耳机从口袋中拿出来，接上iPhone，快捷地打开那一首歌-“A Thousand Years"。

-

巴士上挤得水泄不通，站在最靠近司机的位置。从来不曾在雨中与巴士的挡风镜离得这么近，豆大的雨珠不停的滑落，再把视线搞得若影若现时就被雨刮器扫走了，而暂时恢复清晰的视线很快又被雨滴给弄模糊了，这个动作一直重复着，就像我的思绪般，时而清晰时而模糊。原来愁在雨天，愁更愁。

-

一直以来都喜欢寡言多行，生命付诸在每一个灵体上都是一个价值，贬值或增值，与先天的条件和后天的培养一般上都离不开关系。我从来都没有生气或恼怒过，我只是感慨那一段桥梁的距离，即使短，却常常云雾四起，打断了原本应有的默契。有一段时期，即使多天没见，在见面的那一刻，总会有很多的话写在脸上，根本不用依靠那传统的科学，在空气中磨牙切齿，以震动的分子传达讯息，我们选择了心灵相通，或许是一种以生俱来的本能。在Twitter上，句里行间透露着心里的那一份感慨，没有想到你会有离开的一天。难道初衷的在意、关心，变成了一种无形的压力，过后演变成逃避吗？需要的不是无谓的交谈，问题在于信任与了解。因为一粒字，可以造出千百个句子，万般的意思。所谓的默契，就是在千百个字里行间中找到彼此的那一段，共同的那一段，很多时候就是这般的奇妙。或许有一天你会明白，也可能误会是一辈子。我了解的你，是一种信念；你了解我的时候，不要怀疑。

-

祸从口出

沉默是金

孩子，爸牵你的手吧！

天空

尽是一片乌云

雨水

狠狠地往下泻

路人

狼狈地撑着伞

余晖

是那么的朦胧

是那么的隐约

是那么的脆弱

是那么的暗淡

是那么的凄凉

雷声

轰动了全城

闹醒了睡婴

翻动了草原

掀起了恐慌

孩子

请你别慌

请你别怕

请你相信

无论何时何处

爸

从未放弃过

爸

会执子之手

携着你一起

期待那雨后

下一道彩虹

*was notified by Leon via Facebook from Perth about an hour ago asking me to proofread this particular Chinese poem he wrote during lecture. It seems to be a nice poem and I wish to share with all my bloggers and readers. Simple yet meaningful.

Gathering

Just went for a gathering, not only gather my previous classmates but also schoolmates from other classes in secondary. Life got to seperate after we leave high school, some are heading to KL, some to UK, some to Australia, some to India and even some to Taiwan, and of course me myself in Singapore. This is life isn't it? It seems like no people are willing to stay down here for further study and leaving one by one. Reality simply means aim higher and further. Though we are miles away, but the spirit never dies. That is what we, Sarawakians, Malaysians are proud of.

*Fabian, even though A level is tough. But do take care and keep yourself in pink while doing revision. More to catch up next time. Goodluck =)

I Am Back For Real!

I have finally touched down Kuching two days ago, not exactly 48 hours since I only landed on Sunday night 9pm. What makes the difference was the immediate breeze I took in when I walk out of the arrival gate. Home is still where the heart is. Dad, mum and brothers were inside the car to welcome me and it aroused the homy feeling I would never find in Singapore. Went home and had grannie cook as, I don't know I should call it dinner or supper but food. At 10pm, I drove out to town area meeting all my fond secondary schoolmates and yeah, I love the gathering. Gonna be back here for a month plus, I am planning to do lots of reading to compensate time I lost in Singapore. Also, will be assisting mum in some financial stuff but will mainly focus as a tutor at Madani. As seriously, I sometimes love academic stuff over financial matters, at least let me enjoy it at this stage. Later part of life after I graduate from tertiary study, I will have a full focus dealing with finance and so.

情有独钟

有一种感觉无法解释

有一种冲动无法控制

在秒针瞬间移动的那一刻

化学的产生

无法预知的结果

就像赌下了一注

假设似是似非般

像是被推翻

像是证明了什么

-

眼珠传达的画面

刺激了那一根的神经

灵魂的一震

麻痹了理智

吹眠了视线

此时，存在的只是那个信仰

-

一夏一春的一闪

岁数不断往上攀

始终有个顶点

因为在意很多的过去

酿就了今天许多的遗憾

从过去走过的路上

恢复的伤口

伤疤是一次又一次经验的累积

很多身外物

不是一直长久的

即使在口袋划下了一刀

在你开心畅怀时

嘴角撩起的那一刻

一切都值得了

-

幸会

Stepping Out

I was standing firmly on ground

As if both my foots were glued

Pretending I was a statue

But soon my confidence has shattered

I admit that

Everything changed after all

In the event of pranking

Can't you hear my hint?

-

I walked towards you

Standing by side

Giving you a glimpse

Awaiting a response

But soon silence has built up sense of insecure

Moving away

With hard pace

With a deep wailing breath

One More Time, You Whore!

I believe my life is not as misery as yours

I don't have countless friends like you

Who don't serve their purpose in times of need

But I have a handful of brothers

A philosophy of which you can never understand nor experience

Cause you never have one

Or maybe you have but you never realise or cherish the moment

Stop being a whore

And I won't leave

I once said and will keep the promise till the very end

Providing the earlier statement is true

Seriously. Like Too Much.

More than 365 days we didn't see each other in real

Punker reminds me of you

Too much secrets we reveal to each other during these days

Despite the fact that hundred miles lie between

How Skype decipher our voice and transmit in digital means

How the mic detect our frequency and convert it to electrical signal

How the signal been amplified by the speaker

We miss out too much when we are not longer travelling inside the black Camry

Countless scratches we made on the car

But I can never forget the number plate - 292

Truly not only a number

But a milestone along the friendship path

Which only travels further when time marches on

-

Sincerely,

Singapore for Melbourne

I Am

A Bastard

For goodness sake

I think I am screwed today

-

Days weren't good. I always thought that I could be better in the sense of presenting myself. Too much negative happenings clouding around and I am trying to break through. But life sucks. I am so fucking exhausted now and my bloody eye bags are heavy but I still have tonnes of work to do. I didn't know what exactly happened today. Jeremy was sleeping all the way during the lecture and I fell in the same trap too, but not that long. Early tutorials were fine except the bald stick trying to mock the Singaporeans for not being able to solve his 3 "brilliant" Maths questions. He loves to make fun of both Malaysians and Singaporeans, each taking a turn for every week. Alif even says in twitter that he only favours China English. What a joke. MFD 3D modelling was just per normal. Everyone is rushing over their work. 6 hours from afternoon onwards at lab trying to complete everything, it seems to fail again. So don't you think me a bastard.

Because I am bastard, doesn't mean you are not.

Show encrypted text

K

Kuching, Kajang, Kembangan

and sometimes Kuantan

Places start from K are important to me

The Red Day

I received 50 greetings at Facebook as at 12.48am

I reply every each of them

Literally I receive more than one greeting every minute

And is still counting

I got 7 sms

4 from Malaysia and 3 from Singapore

2 tweets from my fellow tweet peeps

This is only the first hour of the day

And I have received so much blessings

Really love me ya you all

I love you as much as you all do

-

My awesome cake with the awesome candle

-

The cards

So much of love

<3

-

A Nike, A Jezz, A Converse

My presents are all red!

A coincidence?

My lucky colour now

-

I went to shisha with class at Haji Lane!

My first time in Singapore!

Awesome

I really like the connection Shirley has down there!

Ahmad, don't sad

Let's shisha once more when you turned legal!

Rachel you rocks!

Jeremy and Andrew the professional shisha-er

Angel still the laid back piggie style

JJ and YYC a good try!

-

JJ, If I didn't guess wrongly

I think you actually prepared my birthday present

One month prior to the actual date

You really made me very touched!

-

Today I received my red case for my iPhone too

It is a red day

A lucky one

-

Not everyone can read my address to my fellow classmates

As it is a closed group

I want to share with the world how awesome

My life is in Singapore

and how great my friends are

-

A Note for the clas DP1006

Thanks Mr Zander Nyp for making your way down to South Canteen to celebrate mai birthday!!

Thanks Andrew Chee and Jeremy Ho, I know you two must be two core planners behind today awesome event. Bravo Braders!

Thanks Angel Ang for bringing so much laughters today, I wish you will lose some weight preparing my cake. If it is true, I wish everyday is my birthday.

Thanks J.j. Hayashi now I know why you asked me England or Germany on 1st April. I have this text fresh in my memory because I replied your text when I was driving and I almost bang the car in front. I hope I made a right guess.

Thanks ZhongLin Ooi for your great wishes! I received both your text and facebook greetings. I really appreciate both the presie and card. XD

Thanks @Shirley Kew for the shisha! I never know you are such a kick at Haji Lane and it was like u own the street! Let's hang out again!

Thanks @Ahmad Alif and @Rachel Ho for joining us tonight! It is quite rare to get you two hang out with the class but today you two did! It was a scarce moment when we get to cheers at night and I hope we all can go outing as a whole more often!

Thanks @Khairi Azmie and @Weishin Kho for making your time to join us for dinner at PastaMania! XD

Thanks @Ng Cheong Hong, @Yun Chiong, @Phoebe Ho and @Yeoh Yong Chen for the birthday cards, presents and cake! I really appreciate all your preparations and making this evening a memorable one.

Last but not least, thanks @Joel Javian Khoo, @Benjamin Justin Lau, @Hui Xin Zhang and @Shihai Mao for singing the birthday songs and cheers together =)

I had a great birthday celebration last year, today is a greater one.

Thanks all.

I love DP1006.

Tan Yee

-

p/s: Every year, my birthday always makes the class bonding stronger. This year, we have Alif and Rachel joining the line. =)

I Believe

There are always true friends

Who never stop standing by side even at the bad times

May it be a short or simple sentence

But the sincerity counts

Thank

Fabian for sending me a sms all the way from KL

Andrew for PM me few moment after I updated my blog

Esther for calling me through skype

I am grateful that God let us met

It is a thing that money could not buy

A relationship beyond friendship

Just lacking the factor that we don't share the blood-chain

But we share our fated heart

I do appreciate and allow me to love you all too

The Pain

It's my fault to write the 5.00pm post

Stress has lost my rationale

Thanks to her for the text

I will clarify the cloudy doubt

And I was not intended to hurt

You made the right move

I believe I do too

You.

A lesson for us to learn.

Address only for Andrew, Angel and Jeremy.

Show encrypted text

May God Bless You

I have a friend

Whom I don't really know him well

He left Kuching High School when we were Form 3

He is now a New Zealander

Living in Christchurch

Because of twitter

We started to get in touch

We are like cyber brothers now

We chat over twitter

He got into some nasty troubles recently

He broke up

Depressed

He drive to drink

Ended up drink driving

Got caught

His license got suspended

Gotta send to court

Fined for 1k NZD

-

"Life's fucked when we don't wanna it to be. Do we even have a choice?"

-

Dude, I hope you're alright

-

I am meeting Kiki probably by this week

Can't wait to see her after Chinese New Year

Her iconic style is what I am amazed of

Just wanna give her a deep cuddle

A warm greeting amongst us which I find it nowhere

I Don't Understand WHY?

She says:

It's Complicated

People do make mistake. And I think I fell in this trap. I wanna leave, but I don't want to hurt anyone.

I say:

U r such an asshole...I hate you...

She says:

bu yao che yang. i duno why i'll type her name also.. di liu gan.

I say:

U go to hell la...hate u so much...kepo ttm...

... ...

She says:

i thought it could be a reason for me to find you. it ended up like that..

bastard.

I say:

Lolz...wad does tad supposed to mean?...if I am a bastard, then u r a bitch...haha

She says:

Don't pretend to laugh. You disgust me. And keep that to your love. I don't want to be the same standard as both of you. It may be my fault for viewing your poor security page, but your attitude really got me pissed off. I don't see why you get angry. Cause i don't fucking understand your passage. And i was just playing with your code. Whatever you're trying to satirize me i'll let you do so. Curse me to hell. Cause i think having you as my best friend in the past is more than being in hell. Tan yee. I'll grant your wish. I now volunteer to fuck off your life. Satisfied?

I say:

It has never come to my mind that you would reply in such a long passage and be in this manner. I will keep it and thanks for being true to me. I have always keep myself silent and always refuse to comment a word or two on you all these while. I know I shouldn't be as bitchy as how they usual act like cause they really don't like you. If you still remember that I texted you last few weeks regarding the info I wanna inquired for Exora. I was been teased for doing so. You even dare to throw me heavy words like you regret you met me. To be frank, you have put me in real despair which I have never thought of encounter with. Specious words confound virtue. Want of forbearance in small matters confounds great plans.

Things now changed. I have been uncertain on whether it's glad that we met.

She says:

what do you actually expect me to do then? you know that you're the only friend which i actually have faith in. even though we don't talk and seldom contact each other, you never know how proud am i when i talk about you to my friends and mum.

you may think you saying go to hell those words won't hurt me. in fact it does. i couldnt treat you the way like i used to. cause those who hurt me most are currently your best friends, closer than us last time. you thought i can face everything optimistically? after i saw what weilin said? i couldn't.

i'm sorry for what i said. i say that without thinking twice.

i don't mean anything to you anymore. every acquaintance of yours plays more important role than me in your life. even if problems among us settled, we couldnt go back to the past. cause its impossible for you to have good impression towards me anymore. even if you do, it would be hard for you to ignore your friends and be close with me back. since im a shame for you.

and i didnt know you'll get teased for asking info from me. i dont understand your last two sentences.

I say:

If you don't understand my last two sentence...it simply means that you need to improve your English...

-

Point Of View 1

In the world of cyber, the word "safe" never existed. Yes, I was been mocked that I have a poor encrypted post that you can simply broke into with your second try. What the fuck?! Please bear in mind that you can easily invade into my well-encrypted post is because I gave you the chance to let you know me too well. If you were to break in a bank, would you surrender yourself to the police aftermath? Only idiot does.

Point Of View 2

Do you really appreciate our friendship? Yes, I wrote "our", which simply means it is more than just 2 of us. Do you know how far had we been through along the way of our friendship? I always believe that friendship chain is invincible and lives immortally. What a joke when I was thinking that. Do you still remember the time before we have our SPM? How many revising sessions we had together? In your house, my house or the others' place. We shared the precious knowledge among, knowing that it is a treasure that everyone of us best kept. Overnight in a girl's house. It was my first time in my history. I sacrificed my sleep at home and slept over at your house just to revise Biology with you. I clearly remembered this because when I go back home, I received a well "lecture" from my dad because none of us ever over stay at one girl's house at such an age. "Change" although is just six letters, but when it really does, it causes devastating damage to everyone involved.

Point Of View 3

Since when our friendship line on this beautifully carved egg shell started to crack? Maybe until today you are still best keep with your own ignorance. But I have to reveal the truth. The first and also the last KL trip January 2010. Have you recalled how you hid at one corner and cried? Saying that you refused to go to "Sunway Lagoon" as we scheduled earlier. It's fine for you to cry at the corner for don't know what so ever fucking reason like "why you guys leave me and G*** alone when we were shopping just now?" Please, we have different stuff to shop and I assume you wouldn't be selfish enough to want us accompany you whole day long to shop what you wanted to buy, but not ours. Still remember how you teased us saying that we are a group of cheapskates after some crazily discounted stuff? You might forgot, but we don't. Reason being simple is because it left a really deep cut inside the heart of everyone of us.

-

In great despair and dismay

I hope everything could just ended here

Although those scenes are still sometimes flashing in mind

Vivid and reminding

But time could never be rewound

Deep in my sincere

I really hope friendship can still continue to march on

Although the ray of hope appears to be an iota

-

I can never erase you as part of my memory

You rooted deeply

You understand when you still see your face appear on the right column of this corner