Set Sail for Disappointment

We control our feelings and emotions. Be it happy, angry, sad or in despair. Even though sometimes we know we can avoid the negative sides and try to be cheerful on the other hand, but we just choose not to because we are too particular over stuff we have no control over. Instead of dwelling on the same ground, why not just send a few tweets or read some 9gag posts to put a smile on your face? I might be in good in giving motivation to myself, but on the other hand being able to achieve is yet another story.

So I actually came across this article online and I think it might be useful if you can spend a few minutes reading it. (I mean ya, seems you have time to come online and read my blog, why not just continue reading right? It's not I am posting a thousand pages novel, just a few hundreds words which might just take you a little while off doing nothing but keep refreshing your Facebook news feed.)

So here it is. (I actually summarize it to make it more concise)

Disappointment is simply unexpected freedom.

If you discover that, actually, you won’t be going to grad school, or your job will not be needing you, or, surprisingly, your husband has plans to not spend the rest of his life with you, you are suddenly going to have a lot of free time on your hands. Maybe not at first — you have to find a source of income really fast, or get a divorce lawyer. But in the big picture — you’ve got years of free time you weren’t really planning on.

When disappointment hits, try to say to yourself: I’ve been given a gift of unexpected freedom! I just have to fill out a bit of paperwork first.

What do you do with that freedom? That’s the fun part.

Respond to disappointment with awesomeness.

Do you worry too much? The solution to worrying is to make mutually exclusive plans.

If you are not laid off from your job, you will campaign for the top job in x, y, and z ways. If you are laid off from your job, you will become a yoga instructor, or decamp to Thailand for three months. If you’re broke, you could take every free workshop in town — finally getting to see what it’s like to wander the city at 2pm on a Tuesday — until you figure out what you want to do. The point is that it is not possible to take both of these paths. Yet, if both of these paths are exciting to you, then you really can’t ever be disappointed.

When I say that we should respond to disappointment with awesomeness, I mean that we should keep some plans in our back pocket for things we probably won’t do if all the good stuff in our lives works out the way we want. Because it does seem unlikely that you’ll lose your biggest client in the same week that your boyfriend comes out of the closet, it’s pretty easy to make awesome plans for what you’ll do in just such a circumstance. (Get ballsy! Go teach English in Korea and have hot sex with someone whose language you don’t even speak!) That is, it’s pretty easy to imagine awesomeness when we don’t actually plan to follow through anytime soon. If your darling dog did, sadly, succumb to his heart murmur — think of all the other needy dogs you could foster. Pickles’ chew toys could provide joy to dogs who have been deprived the pleasures of chew toys. Maybe it’s possible to become #1 dog foster parent ever by, for instance, using your photography and marketing skills to showcase the dogs’ most charming qualities and thus find them new homes like some crazy dog yenta.

Of course, some disappointments in life are much more serious than losing your job. If, god forbid, your whole family died in a fire, you could abscond to an ashram in India, or you could develop a Ms. Fire Safety persona and visit elementary schools telling your story in a way that won’t terrify the kids too bad. You could help others, or just have a completely different life, as most people don’t get — or don’t take — the chance to live more than one life in a lifetime. If you find that sort of squicky — living a full and flourishing life following great tragedy — well, why? If you suffer eternally and live a limited life forever, who are you helping?

Fear of disappointment poisons the system. 

Fear can be replaced with excitement.

If you are living in fear of losing your regular paycheck or your lover, it probably shows. You are probably undercutting yourself, acting subservient, and living anxiously where you could be living joyfully.

You avoid living in fear by living with excitement for the possibilities that open themselves to you when randomness strikes, as it always does. If you lost your job, you would be able to fully throw yourself into starting a business. If you got divorced at fifty, you could go flirt with young men in the Bahamas, and then fill your entire house with floral patterns and plastic flamingos. You obviously shouldn’t walk around filled with excitement for all the fun things you could do if your family died in a fire, but you certainly can walk around impressed by the sheer unimaginability of all the possibilities available should your life take any kind of unexpected turn.

The world is a huge place, and there are so many other lives you could be living. I always recommend traveling, and especially traveling alone, to really help see that. While a pack of American tourists just tends to breeze through places, a thoughtful lone traveler can usually sit quietly in one place for long enough to think: I could live here. And so many things would no longer matter. I’d like to start some organization that just scoops up suicidal people and puts them on a plane. And then they wake up in Istanbul and someone brings them some tea and they walk around trying to find breakfast and they realize, All those things that were so bad just aren’t relevant here.

"Living in fear of disappointment 

is often worse than disappointment itself. 

You quell that fear with the knowledge 

that every disappointment 

is simply a sudden freedom, 

and a certain space 

and emptiness are needed 

to make room for awesomeness."

572th: Maybe, it wasn't that far.

Nevertheless. Still A Tough Decision.

Yesterday I went to see my mum asking for opinion on what I should do. To wait with a hanging heart with option A or stick to a whole new option B. The latter one is a sure win path but it has a limited time frame for signing up, whereas the former one is subject to my luck and how "kind" my personal mentor gonna be. She replied steadily and assured me that she will find me an answer today which she really did. I didn't actually ask for that but she just opted for me no matter how tough the situation might be. For once, I reckon this woman will be the most important woman in my life apart from my real mum.

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It's About Me

Definitely true

You will be "amazed" how solitary I am when

I am concentrating on something I devoted to

Even lover is totally out of my mind

Proven by how I messed around trying to do things my way

Although I might not win the authorities sometimes

But at least I achieved something

And there are people who feel grateful for it

Which makes me feel it worth while

Usually I just keep quiet

People tend to say I "emo"

But I might thinking the next move to solve my predicament

Figuring out a brilliant clue

All might happen in a sudden at the point when you shift your attention away

 I only observe two kind of people

Is either I admire you

And I wanna learn from you

Or either I hate you so much that I wanna catch your loophole

And make sure you disappear out from my sight

Well it depends

Only sensible topics may apply

If you started off a chat with bullshit which doesn't arouse my cerebrum

You will only find my shadow entertaining you 

Some people may see that as something very annoying

And some thought why am I so stupid

Or even has very low IQ to comprehend a scenario

Cherish your time mocking me

When I came across something magnificent 

Make sure you don't be one of the paparazzi stalking me

Where I hide my greatest idea at

This is how Creaf co-founder comes about

If I ever convey a wild dream to you

You are on par with my level of wildness

You either have exceptional intelligence

Or gain my guaranteed trust

Or any other factors which I find it positively contributing

To be part my blue plan realization 

 If you despise us

I make sure you wake up in your dream

Not always valid but true most of the time

Even when it is not valid, I will pretend I have blended myself into a given situation

Either we are close best friend or soulmate

Or maybe we tacitly reading each other's mind

You will never find the deepest me

It is true

Don't get jealous

It's God's decision for me to be born in May

Or perhaps my parents are good at Math

Well, maybe if you work a bit harder

You can match me

;)

567th: Hey you know what, I think you don't know

The Second Birthday

So this is the second birthday happening for the month. Well I guess July is a month where I find it pretty important as there are few people who play a big role in my life were gave birth in. This suppose to be the second time we should celebrate birthday for you but distance does make things not quite possible sometimes. As long as our spirit stays, we believe there is nothing else to tear us apart. If God were to give me a chance to choose my sibling, I will tell Him - Andrew Chee Jianyang. 

Andrew Chee!

We have came so far during our time in poly and I believe more to come in the future. We both have good tacitly understanding on each other day since the day we met. From the very first project group - EEP (Elctronics and Electrical Principle, or we have earlier grouping than this) with you, I believe we always form the best team and from what I remembered we all did quite a good job when working together. Just like the recent Com Skill presentation on Apple. 

Be it a coincidence or fate, I know you have a strong tendency and firm will to achieve what you want, in simple - dream big. Although you do not kind of surface it to others but I read you. After the release of third semester results, you've got a decent number of distinctions and you told me you aimed for top student. Despite the fact that I actually mocked on you that time but you kept your faith and confidence throughout. You sounded to me about it again saying that you are trying to prepare yourself marching towards that direction again when you swap back to study path next semester. I heard you and I actually do a filing for you. A most complete and comprehensive notes and past exam papers I have ever compiled during my life in NYP. 

And when there was shit happening, I knew I should not just sit down and watch. Even though I knew it wasn't something so right to do and somehow opposed to my principle, but I still did it for you. And that's where I used that strong point to make your way in, all the way. I knew I will suffer mentally but not to the extent where I still feel it so badly even for now. But the moment I saw you walked into the departure hall, I know all the hard works and sacrifices are well paid off. 

There are so much more to mention and I wish what has left with time will grow us even stronger from where we are now. Even if the world fails me, I hope you don't.

"The crest and crowning of all good,

life's final star, is Brotherhood."

Edwin Markham

 Birthday in 2011

 June 2011 at Penang Gurney Drive

 2012's present. You guess it.

Once again,

Happy 20th Birthday

Andrew Chee Jianyang

Have fun in Germany!

566th: Silence is not always golden.

Happy Birthday Mum

Happy Birthday mum!

Despite not knowing the exact date of your birthday

But I know i'ts July!

If you still remember you hinted me during the very first few

meeting when we discussed about the date for graduation night

Thank God I remember that

=)

In case if you're wondering what am I giving my mum

Yes, it's The New York Times Bestseller

"The Nine Rooms of Happiness"

Actually wanna get you the Chicken Soup for Soul series

But I thought that would be too mainstream!

You replied me to say thanks and promise me you will finish the book

If that is the case my hard work travelling several bookstores will be paid off =D

"Sometimes, the best road is the one you make"

inspired by NYP Facebook page

Another week to my brother's birthday

Happy?

Got him something really awesome

Sad?

Because Germany means far, very far away

Today when I see your smile I feel the love

Apart from that few strands of white hair

Which reflects your age

And the recent pilling up of workload and stress

(because you didn't have so much white hair one month ago)

You're young at heart

And what I find it worth mentioning

Is your limitless love

We as your children or students

Are always your priority

Despite under certain circumstances where you need to put yourself at risk

You always ensure that you reserve the best out of the best for everyone of us

You're one of the reasons which makes me feel Singapore a little closer to home

Gritting my teeth and
telling myself
don't worry
I am mentally prepared
even if you're going to fool me
God is up there watching us
I will keep my prayer for
you and myself
hoping that one day you will
do something beneficial for
all of us
and to put our welfare
on your priority list
And for me
I hope God will continue
to bless me with all the
best wisdom and will
so I can have the courage
to continue giving myself
for the best of DPE

The Text

Thanks for being there when I lost my direction

Thanks for holding me when I was about to fall

Thanks for the words which make me stronger

Thanks for everything you have done for me

I might not be the best

But at least I tried

If I have came this far

There is no reason why I can't continue further

Sometimes it's about fate

People say 'fate is in your hands'

But there are times when

You are just a going-to-be-slaughtered under the abattoir hatchet

Whining all the time until I see...

I don't need something great, I just need to be happy

Resilient by day, uncertain by night

Long enough to drive me repeating the cycle of

Every breaking dawn as the sun is about to shine hope and

Every time when the warming sunlight dissolves in a darker tone

Devouring my sanity

Bringing it to the brink of deep valley

The 557th: Have I seen a crack in between wall?

开始懂了

Sometimes I wish I could overcome the barrier
That always hunt me down in the middle of night
The only time I feel myself such a failure
I would rather receive a yes or no answer
Then sleeping through those traumatized nights
Answer will be revealed in few months time
Before that, just keep the fingers crossed that I would be sane throughout

*I have a feeling that this term is not gonna be a good one. 

The Sprout

I have finally insert the seed into the pot filled with soil of energy

It is now the process that matters 

It must be handled with delicate care

Investing the finest and detailed attention ever into this tiny little fragile pot of enthusiasm

I believe it will soon grow into a healthy shoot

One farmer might not be sufficient

There is another trusted partner

Whom I believe he will render the same passion as I do

To wake our dream up from sleeping

And turn into reality

Soup For Thought

A mouse looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package; what food might it contain?

He was aghast to discover that it was a mouse trap!

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning, "There is a mouse trap in the house, there is a mouse trap in the house."

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell you this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me; I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mouse trap in the house."

"I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse," sympathized the pig, "but there is nothing I can do about it but pray; be assured that you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow, who replied, "Like wow, Mr. Mouse, a mouse trap; am I in grave danger, Duh?"

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected to face the farmer's mouse trap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a mouse trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.

In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital.

She returned home with a fever. Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

His wife's sickness continued so that friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well, in fact, she died, and so many people came for her funeral the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.

So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when the least of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

"We are all involved in this journey called life.

We must keep an eye out for one another and

make an extra effort to encourage one another."

"Do not forget to do good

and to help one another,

because these are the sacrifices

that please God."

Hebrews 13:16 GNT

The 448th - The faith we hold in hands 

The Singapore's Mum

We had a long conversation this evening after the meeting which lasted for about a hour. You actually know I don't really possess positive outlook from the inner side. By comforting and giving advise, I actually felt better. But I still cannot overcome the fear, at certain point of time I was thinking if I should really go for a counselling session. In fact you are actually counselling me all these while. There are many things which I don't reveal to my parents but to you, firstly I think it's unnecessary to turn my parents worry and secondly you're nearer for me to reach you. I am actually in a mess now and difficult to construct my sentence properly to express what I'm thinking for the moment, but ya I just want to thank you for doing so much for me. You're more than just a lecturer in my eyes, when you talk about him just now I could even see sign of tears under your eyelid when they started to turn red. You've spent so much effort and time on us, hoping us to be good. You said

 "I want you all to go back 

as how you come to Singapore, 

because when my children go overseas, 

I wish somebody would take care of them too."

Don't worry mum, karma will return good on you. When you asked when will I be going back Kuching again, and saying that you will think of a way on how to tackle the situation which maximize my higher chance and discuss what to tell my parents when I get back home, I nearly cried. I held back but shed a tear or two when leaving your office. I hope you're reading this - Please don't go and fight anything for me anymore, don't put yourself in hard times just because of me, you've done more than enough and I can't appreciate more. I was enlightened when you informed me I am actually one of the considerations in the list of COM, it brightened me up. I have also learnt that the award doesn't sort accordingly just on the academic achievement, it also takes into consideration of one's attitude and contribution towards the course (for my case - DPE) and NYP. You told me before your birthday is in July, I went to your Facebook but couldn't find the exact date. I will ask around and try to find out the actual date and initiate a little surprise for you. 

If you have 5 minutes to spend on facebook, why not just sit back and listen to this song, you won't regret how strong the emotional influence and touching it is.

In Between Lines - Dream & Reality

I was back in Kuching for the past few days for vacation. Practically was to bring my friends around. I didn't really take my DSLR out during the trip so don't blame me for not having shots on what we were doing, where we have been and what we ate.

Anyway, I actually instagram-ed some of the things we did.

First night, went to Life Cafe for Ma-La-Mian then I could not recall what we actually did that night except for slacking at home and eating McDonald's.

Second day we went to Spring. At night, we shisha. We chose the Fresh Mint Lime flavour. Here is one of the very 'smoky' moment when Joel was shishaing.

Third day, we went to Boulevard. I also got the chance to try out the new 'Ding Tea'. I ordered the signature Hokkaido Milk Tea, so much better than Each-A-Cup and of course better than Chatime. But still a gap apart if you wanna match it with KOI or Gong-Cha. I ordered 50% sugar but it was still very sweet to me.
I do feel sick if I've got drink a 12 ounce of sweet drink in one go.

At night we went to Grand Magherita for Seafood buffet. Grand Magherita, your service was quite sux that night which really made me felt 'xia-soi' to treat my overseas friends such xxxx meal when compared to equivalent standard of hotel in Singapore.

Jack Daniel's was happening in my room after the dinner.

Everybody was partially drunk or perhaps dead that night. I was quite disappointed on Jeremy, thought he would have a higher alcohol tolerance. I barely slept for half an hour that night, just to make sure I was there to wake everybody up in time to catch the early morning flight. I got stripped off by the other three drunkards and they declared that I have a small dick. In so I believe that drunkenness do arouse optical illusion, especially when you see the big thing small. Anyway, I was glad that I FaceTime Andrew and he managed to capture many xxx shots of what's happening in my room. In the event if you're wondering what Jeremy has showed to the camera, buzz me. Picture upon request. *Jeremy, you're blackmailed - wink*. I think Joel was the closest to the state of sane that night.

Touched down on Changi airport around 11am, went home washed up and took a nap. After which I went to school for Elites Camp. Despite feeling tired and the a little tipsy from the hangover previous night, I managed to stay until Sunday around 2.30pm. Went home after that to continue my sleep. I do feel that the camp was super slacked when compared to the one I had last year.

*Le bro and me. I have no idea why he popped out his teeth to make himself looks like a retard*

Went to airport to send Andrew off around 9pm on Sunday's night. It's finally happening. I hope you do enjoy the time in Germany. I would like to express how happy I am when you've got to leave for Germany. Thanks for not failing the interview. I am glad you didn't put yourself down nor me. Enjoy your holidays in Germany, my mum told me it would be more like a vacation rather than an internship. I will miss you and I promise to look after Angel under any circumstances.

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*you can ask for the encrypted key, if I think you're good, you'll have it*

"For the past few weeks I realize that I have been living in between the lines of DREAM & REALITY." Dream is when I wanna drive a Germany living in America. Reality is when I drive a France in Malaysia and hop on to a Sweden in Singapore. I am not even close to drive a cheap China or common Japan here. Let's see if I could change that soon.

"Sometimes I dream big,

but to realize it, 

it is either too difficult or

I am simply too lazy to move my butts."

 It is still post common test now, but I don't like the fact that I am having lecture tomorrow. Since it is 1pm, so I don't give too much shit about it.