An Empty Bowl

Remember those time when grannie is gonna prepare glutinous ball dumpling

This year nobody is going to make me

Is either I do it myself or buy it outside

I miss those time

Really

-

Time elapsed

Death is sometimes not a thing to be fear of

It is just a process

Where every life has to experience

A non escape-able stage

-

Today I heard about her again

I don't know whether that was a subjective sentence from him

But time has nevertheless changed her so much

The last time I saw her was a year ago

Today, I nearly forgot how she was like

Although there was tiny dispute among us years ago

But we have been through so much

And I wish everything still remain like last time

It's kinda difficult

But memories are best kept

-

Anybody knows how the hard-felt feeling is when you recall memories

Which you've to try hard visualizing them because they are no longer real

<3

I can't help loving you.

p/s: if I were given another chance, I would choose to stay.

It&apos;s Linked

You still decipher what I wrote and what's in my mind. That's pretty good thing as I don't need to explain. You remember when was the last time we sit down face-to-face and share our thoughts? Probably a semester before. Since it started, I no longer in your reality, instead just a saying to keep those empty promises.

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Right or Wrong Doing

Things which go under table should not be brought surface. But yet why everyone is questioning when what have been done is done? Now you all got it and should be happy right? I believe there is no need to tell everybody and people come to clarify with me. You should understand how I upset and violate the normal procedure to put you guys in. Those who are not in concern with the matter should not loop yourself in. I hope this is over. Be it like never happened before.

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No longer anymore

It wasn't like this months ago. When I asked and didn't receive a prompt reply. You hesitated, that was not the usual way you used to. It has entered the blooming 200th day, or even longer than that, with intermittent in between. There is gap which has been better replaced by somebody else. Sometimes it turns me into a fool, we call each other for the sake of calling, it's nothing more than just superficial. You can write as the story continues to develop, nobody knows when the climax comes or when is it going to end or even may it be immortal. I feel it because there is no more private talk between us, not until you run into a mess up situation. I continue to render my trust in a more silent way and I guess I received a cooler response in return. I am not the first one to know, instead I need to catch up from people who linked further than second or even third hand news. I feel isolated, wrapping up with a little of upset.

On the other hand.
She is overseas and I only get to see her every 1 to 2 month, and that makes me a widower every now and then.

Twitter says
[she is your best friend until she got a boy friend].
The vice versa is always true.

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Design + Music

I was doing this design for the event "Fear Factor"

Damn I feel so fail so my recent design

But at least I do something

-

He is Greyson Chance

And he is only 14

Together, We Shine

You can't cheer

When you passed a stage and the other didn't

When your teammate left a game and you still continue

It just like people giving you a stomp on your backbone

You may look fine but suffer internal injuries

What have done is done

What I am trying now is to counter some situations

To get those 5 who have been left out to get in

My appeal might be successful or may just be another false alarm, empty hope

I have the responsibility to protect and fight for the best on behalf of my men

They have worked and contributed so much

And I think it's fair enough if I could do something in return

Even if all my efforts varnished into thin air

But at least I tried

-

"Together, We Shine"

It Was The Closest Moment To States

We met up for shopping in Orchard. It was raining that evening and I was in my schooling dress code which appeared to be "under-dressed" to head down to Orchard. I kind of fed up and didnn't give a shit after I hopped on train. She was waiting for me in front of Chanel ION. After meeting up, we walked to Takashimaya and Metro @ Paragon. Around 7pm, with two bags of shopping bags, both holding in my hands, we went down to the basement of Paragon hunting for food. I saw Sushi Tei and trying to give a hint but soon she led her way into "Thai Express". I ordered Thai soft-shell crab and rice and she got herself some pattaya fried kueh tiaw. And that was where it began.

"When will you be graduating?"
"Next year, but I think graduation on May 2013"
"That sounds pretty fast"
"So, what's your planning after that?"
"I don't know, I am bonded"
"I heard it is a 5 year service right?"
"Yea, it is"
"Anyway to break it off?"
"Nope, unless we pay for the liquidated damage"
"But Ah Jiet went off after he completed his degree in NUS"
"Nah, it's pretty different. He got a bursary and I got scholarship instead"
"So you will be around 27 after that?"
"Most likely. Actually I don't mind sponsoring you to States, but you have to show me how you budget yourself"
"I am on my way to achieve that" (It was a total lie, lolz)
"How much to pay the bond off?"
"50k is more than enough, that's what my lecturer told me"
"It's not a small figure but we can discuss on it"
"Do you really like what you are studying now?"
"Not really, I was expecting something more on digital but I am currently more towards mechanical stuff which I believe, I sucks in technical operation"
"Haha, well, many undergraduates don't know their real interest is until they reach their 2nd or 3rd year"
"That implies on me, totally agree"
"Anyway, I don't think poly is a place that suits you. You're smart and should do something like form 6"
(eyes turned big and round)
"Well, I heard it wasn't easy. And I have had enough of Malay's education and just want to escape from the cage"
"I know it's hard but it shouldn't be a matter for you. Your dad did it last time before he flew to UK to complete his degree, and he got 1st class Honour"
"Really? I never knew that he is a 1st class"
"Your dad is as smart as you"
"... ..." (The awkward moment when you keep receiving compliments)
"So what are you currently into?"
"I guess Civil engineering or something to do with programming or computer"
"That's something really common"
"But part of our business is on construction, and that segment earns the most in Kuching"
"You still planning to go back?"
"I think in the future, I will be based in Kuching and flying around. And hopefully getting a US citizenship."
"You knew that is illegal"
"But you have done something illegal for 30 years and nobody knows"
"Well, it's still worth taking the risk"
"So do my mind says so"
(we smiled at each other giving ourselves that look)
-
Until the last sentence the direction is still so ambiguous and it doesn't lead me anyway clearer. Well I guess dad and aunt Jen have been working closely to draft out a best future blue plan for me. The only thing is waiting for time to elapse. No matter what it is, I will make my decision based on the instantaneous situation judging from angle which offers the best for everyone. I have a strong premonition that this wouldn't be my forever and last stop. Time moves, thing changes, so do I.

- 21 November 2011

Breathe

Close your eyes

Open your ears

Feel the rhythm

Take a deep breath

Listen to the lyrics

Meditate for a minute or two

Gemini

“

GEMINI MAN:

He change his mind as fast as he change a new pairs of shoes. He can pick up a book and roughly read through and understand it’s contents, so if you see a Gemini man who reads the whole book, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac.

If you date this kind of guy, you might think you are dating 2 guys, you will have to guess his feeling and emotion. Is he doing thing because it is a duty, or is it because he wants to?

”

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A Click Will Do

Hi, do me a favor?

Please vote for my classmate as he and his friends took part in a competition recently

What is crucial is your vote!

Just simply vote for their photo so they could make their way in!

Step 1: Open the following link:

https://apps.facebook.com/nebo_viral/index.php?id=1

Step 2: Click “Log In”

Step 3: Click “Allow”

Step 4: Vote for my team ---> AR AR SIOL

Step 5: Your job is done and wait for our good news! :D

Vote and stand a chance to win FREE movie ticket!

Missing You

I am seriously missing

Jimmy Liu Dao Sheng

and

Esther Tan Yi Jing

-

I am sorry for not space out my weekend to skype

I know Blackcat is coming back from Melbourne very soon

I think I am getting to meet him somewhere end of December

But I wonder if I could meet Esther?

I will drive to your house on the 1st day of 2012 if you couldn't get out

Just a simple hug will do

It had been 365 days

And I don't want to wait another 365 more

*Did I tell you that I hate daylight saving so much cause it drags another hour more between Singapore and Auckland. It may seems insignificant to others but it means a lot to us who need to keep in touch when we are still awake.

Christmas Doodling

I was appointed to in charge for SEG A&R Christmas Celebration publicity

I have to come out with designs

And here is what I've got so far

I only upload 2 out o 4 here

I think the rest are too tedious to be opened for public

-

Flyer

-

Name tag

Concoction

I went to Magomba to meetup with Edmund and his friend Gaius

I have no fucking idea what the concoction was

But Redbull was one of the elements that made it taste sweet

And some other liquor which doesn't carry much alcohol

Being said so I was feeling a bit tipsy at first

But the feeling went off very soon as I only drank a glass of Johny Walker

Both came back from Christchurch

Edmund was previously my classmate

And Gaius a Singaporean currently serving NS

I asked Andrew to join us to mix around

And I think he does find my friend a cool shit

Ain't you agree?

Break

I talk, I shout, I mumble, I laugh

It just an outshell

I am being too tired

And I need a break

Give me

A second to breathe

A minute to dream

An extra quarter hour for sleep
Few more moments for me to think and miss you

雨下

看完“那些年”后，在繁忙的人群中，我快步穿梭人群，只希望可以快些搭上巴士，回家去。细雨纷纷，把平时站在车站外的人群往里面挤，为的只是不要被淋湿。在步向车站的某处，隐约看见约似165的巴士，在寒风的吹袭下，拉上捷克的头盖，把耳机从口袋中拿出来，接上iPhone，快捷地打开那一首歌-“A Thousand Years"。

-

巴士上挤得水泄不通，站在最靠近司机的位置。从来不曾在雨中与巴士的挡风镜离得这么近，豆大的雨珠不停的滑落，再把视线搞得若影若现时就被雨刮器扫走了，而暂时恢复清晰的视线很快又被雨滴给弄模糊了，这个动作一直重复着，就像我的思绪般，时而清晰时而模糊。原来愁在雨天，愁更愁。

-

一直以来都喜欢寡言多行，生命付诸在每一个灵体上都是一个价值，贬值或增值，与先天的条件和后天的培养一般上都离不开关系。我从来都没有生气或恼怒过，我只是感慨那一段桥梁的距离，即使短，却常常云雾四起，打断了原本应有的默契。有一段时期，即使多天没见，在见面的那一刻，总会有很多的话写在脸上，根本不用依靠那传统的科学，在空气中磨牙切齿，以震动的分子传达讯息，我们选择了心灵相通，或许是一种以生俱来的本能。在Twitter上，句里行间透露着心里的那一份感慨，没有想到你会有离开的一天。难道初衷的在意、关心，变成了一种无形的压力，过后演变成逃避吗？需要的不是无谓的交谈，问题在于信任与了解。因为一粒字，可以造出千百个句子，万般的意思。所谓的默契，就是在千百个字里行间中找到彼此的那一段，共同的那一段，很多时候就是这般的奇妙。或许有一天你会明白，也可能误会是一辈子。我了解的你，是一种信念；你了解我的时候，不要怀疑。

-

祸从口出

沉默是金

Shatter

Initial wish was to hope you will stay connected with hyped gadget using my favorite microblogging site - twitter. You did an account at the same time created the history too.

Sunset has the most beautiful scene of the day but it doesn't last long. It will somehow appear again the next day, depending on the weather and so, but not everyday is a sunny. If you have faith in tomorrow's dawn, you will be determined to stay whole day long, despite the storm or thunder if there is any, because you long for the essence of God's creation. The moment you see the shades of rainbow after rain, you know you have lived another day, a day filled with your bona fide heart.

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Once Upon A Time

Once

How eager was I to escape

After dream, after bustling metropolis

And now sitting down and think back

How fast has it been?

How far did I go?

Just the egotism that you want people to know that you are overseas

It is the saying that moon is rounder outside

Just what people think, and how you react

The best is still where you heart is

Where it all started, and where the full stop will be marked

-

It was 3.30am in the morning

Too many things, too little time

-

Life's too short to be everything

Everyday I wake up and when I look into the mirror brushing my teeth

I will remind myself

"What if today were my last day, how will I utilise it?"

I had read this sentence everywhere

But not until I lost something in life

I have came to comprehend the implicit underlying meaning

It is how you want to maximise out of the box, out of your limitation

-

Be thankful, be grateful, be lovely

Do it while you are able to

Time doesn't wait

-

Don't tear when you watch this video

I have loved you for a

Thousand years

I'll love you for a

Thousand more

Today is a Big Day

Good morning to all

Wondering why am I still awake at this moment?

Dragging my heavy eye bags and dizzily spinning head

I am preparing script for my speech tomorrow!

Oh no it's later

Not to say preparing, it's actually the final touch up after changes this evening at TFA

I am glad that although I wasn't around for most of the time just now

But my committee members did a very good job

Also not forgetting another team lead by Keegan at Impact side

They are all indeed a not-to-worry team

-

I had this thought to put up a slide to introduce our committee members during our camp two weeks ago

But the melancholy news from home had forced me to be absent for a week

And I couldn't do per what I initially planned

But God heard me

I am able resume my earlier plan for today's event

-

14 of us had worked hard to serve the best for the course

So I believe it's good if we can be recognised by our people

Goodluck to all and million thanks to all helpers and performers

-

"DPE, from the people, for the people"

111111, make it happens

=)

孩子，爸牵你的手吧！

天空

尽是一片乌云

雨水

狠狠地往下泻

路人

狼狈地撑着伞

余晖

是那么的朦胧

是那么的隐约

是那么的脆弱

是那么的暗淡

是那么的凄凉

雷声

轰动了全城

闹醒了睡婴

翻动了草原

掀起了恐慌

孩子

请你别慌

请你别怕

请你相信

无论何时何处

爸

从未放弃过

爸

会执子之手

携着你一起

期待那雨后

下一道彩虹

*was notified by Leon via Facebook from Perth about an hour ago asking me to proofread this particular Chinese poem he wrote during lecture. It seems to be a nice poem and I wish to share with all my bloggers and readers. Simple yet meaningful.

无奈

很多事情
我希望可以慢慢解释

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Tiredness

I am deprived from sleep

I was spending most of my week to accompany grandma

She slept well inside her house for the past few days until Wednesday

When she will be moved to sleep with grandpa for the rest of the time

Life's short

I can't be helped, and nobody could

Mum was convincing me to stay in Kuching for few more days after coming back from Sibu

But I can't

Despite the hard feeling which I wished to stay in Kuching

To reminisce at the sewing machine which grandma used to use

The sofa which grandma used to nap

Even the cleanse which grandma used every morning

I have to fly back

Responsibility on shoulder can never be eased unless I run them personally

-

Give and take

Come and go

Grab it while you can

Cherish while you have

Permanent is mirage

Only spirit lives immortally

那一片云彩

"I am getting an iPhone 4S, please let me have it okay? It's releasing next week and I can't even wait for it!" "Yee, you're studying abroad and be more thrifty..." "but I really love it. And I tell you I just bought an iPad 2 recently and it seriously ousted my Galaxy Tab as my eBook reader and of course serve me as a mini TV" "What?! You bought an iPad?" "Chill, I am gonna resale it and I am firm at a 100 dollar profit" "you sure? Anyway, what are you going to do with your iPhone 4 if you're gonna get a 4S?" "I don't know? Sell it or leave it for Khai?" "Oh, actually you can bring it home during Christmas" "So you're trying to say that I can get a 4S?" "I didn't say that" "but I knew it" "so how's study?" "Pretty fine just you know...I have been discussing about porting over to Civil Engineering after next year" "you seriously don't like this course?" "I just don't like to face the icy monitor day and night or standing in front of machine until my legs lost its conscious" "we'll talk about it again" "Eh, one more thing..." ... ...

And finally I hang up the phone. It was an hour plus call, but I don't know why mum chose to use the conventional phone call instead of Skype. But I kind of liking the stability and continuous chatting without call drop. Skype, is just sux sometimes.

Half an hour later, 11.20pm. I just finished arranging the books on my table and clicked on the pps on my iPad, waiting for the home screen to load several covers of the latest show. Phone suddenly came alive, I recognize the four letter "HOME". I was wondering what's wrong again because the only person who will call me from home (Kuching) again must be mum because both daddy and grandma were in Sibu attending somebody's wedding. It was Saturday night and it's impossible for Wee and Khai to not playing Dota.

I picked up the phone reluctantly, sounding inattentively as my show "康熙来了" on pps was already buffering and can't be bothered with anything.

＂你要冷静，我要跟你讲一样事情＂＂哦＂My eyes were on the iPad, the show finished buffering and started playing, I gave mum a skimpy reply, I just wanna end the convo asap. "阿嬷没有了＂＂什么？她不是在诗巫喝喜酒吗？＂＂对，刚刚daddy打来说阿嬷没有了＂I started to hear something that resemble nasal voice and I can't be more sure that the opposite is sobbing. I somehow put up the call and I forgot how it ended.

At that moment, I stone and went blank. What was in mind were all question marks. How could it be? I just went grandma's room to sleep last two weeks, two Saturday ago to be exact because I can watch Astro in her room but not in mine. And I always have this habit in Kuching, I love to lie on bed with grandma and watching tv programme until I fall asleep. Usually I will preset a countdown timer for the tv, let's say it will turn off automatically after half an hour. In Kuching, I usually go to dream in less than half an hour, not really suffering much insomnia as I do in Singapore most probably because of the air-conditioned room, the comfy bed sheet and most importantly that is my house, where my root is.

My mind was still pausing at the previous blank page, not knowing what is going to fill it up next. And then, few minutes of silence later (I paused my pps after the call) I stood up, walked towards the door knob, turned the knob anti clockwise and pulling backwards until the gap was big enough for me to get out of the room. I made my quick pace towards the bathroom and took a short shower. When the warm water running over my naked body, I tasted the saltiness, I was then quite sure that was the first time I started tearing after knowing the tragedy.

I received dad's viber at 3.30am later.

I flew out to Sibu from Johore as there is no direct flight from Singapore. I met Andrew, Gracia, auntie Phillies (their mother), auntie Jennifer from Washington and auntie Selvia from Jakarta before we took a private cab to Johore airport from Singapore. The entire trip was a real time drama.

抵达诗巫的那一刻，我的心都沉了。到了殡仪馆的那一瞬间，我看到婆婆那慈祥的遗照，我已按耐不住内心的痛，热泪夺框而出，那一段与婆婆一起渡过的日子，往事一幕幕回首。想到婆婆端午节常做的粽子，每当放假回古晋时吃她做的寿司，想到我在新加坡用的被子是她缝给我的，记得小学的假期都我陪她在诗巫一同渡过，想到每次Astro她按错按钮时都是我帮她调回去，在古晋的多个星期六都我开车带她去买些蔡，想到上两个星期她才为我缝好了一件衣。。。太多回忆一瞬间充斥了脑袋，我一瞬间崩溃得泣不成声。

＂死亡只是一种过程＂，很多时候说的比做的来得容易多。在你失去至亲的那一刻，平时走的潇洒路线只不过是一种肤浅的掩饰，哭红的双眸再也无法证明什么。现今的日子里，大家都带着无数的无奈，在为生命而奔波，在为理想而奋斗。在失去的那一刻才赫然醒悟，最远的其实最近。即使离开得安详，却怎么也包扎不了心口上的那一个缺口，心灵上的那一片空虚。每当睡觉时看到你缝的那一条被子，盖在身上，有一种被您呵护的温暖。用中文铺上下半段的这一段，只希望阿嬷在天之灵可以看到，读到。

小时候，幸福是一件简单的事；
长大后，简单是一件幸福的事。

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Time

If I could freeze time at the happiest moment we venture together

It is a chemistry which can hardly be explained

Not to say expressing in words

We read each and another

For more than any treasure could cost

Gathering

Just went for a gathering, not only gather my previous classmates but also schoolmates from other classes in secondary. Life got to seperate after we leave high school, some are heading to KL, some to UK, some to Australia, some to India and even some to Taiwan, and of course me myself in Singapore. This is life isn't it? It seems like no people are willing to stay down here for further study and leaving one by one. Reality simply means aim higher and further. Though we are miles away, but the spirit never dies. That is what we, Sarawakians, Malaysians are proud of.

*Fabian, even though A level is tough. But do take care and keep yourself in pink while doing revision. More to catch up next time. Goodluck =)

A Strait Difference

Just randomly loitering around the internet and find out that Malaysia starting pay all ranging from RM1.5k to RM3k and I am quite shocked to the figure. I always thought that basic salary for a fresh graduate will range from RM3-4k which have seems to be over optimistic at the time being. For a fresh graduate in Singapore, salary can simply range from SGD2-3k which after conversion equals to RM5-6k. The statistic will probably make me to stay overseas for quite sometime before I come back to Kuching, either working for private sector or back to family's business. At least I will need to accumulate enough experience before I could run the company.

Reference : http://www.graduan2u.com/2009/07/21/entry-salary-for-fresh-graduate/

I Am Back For Real!

I have finally touched down Kuching two days ago, not exactly 48 hours since I only landed on Sunday night 9pm. What makes the difference was the immediate breeze I took in when I walk out of the arrival gate. Home is still where the heart is. Dad, mum and brothers were inside the car to welcome me and it aroused the homy feeling I would never find in Singapore. Went home and had grannie cook as, I don't know I should call it dinner or supper but food. At 10pm, I drove out to town area meeting all my fond secondary schoolmates and yeah, I love the gathering. Gonna be back here for a month plus, I am planning to do lots of reading to compensate time I lost in Singapore. Also, will be assisting mum in some financial stuff but will mainly focus as a tutor at Madani. As seriously, I sometimes love academic stuff over financial matters, at least let me enjoy it at this stage. Later part of life after I graduate from tertiary study, I will have a full focus dealing with finance and so.

You Still Inside The Heart

Leaving again tomorrow. Despite the fact that I am coming back in 7 days time but leaving apart from the same city as you can never be not heavy. Even though this is a study week and we don't meet as frequent but conventional texting keeps the heart beating.

You know how much it means and how important you are.

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My Home is My Heart

Back in Kuching and I can't find anything better than my very own bed. Riding on my very personal lion roaring across the streets. Playing around with my cats and can't help stopping it.

Everything is so laid back and enjoyable. A short period to recharge and prepare myself for the very final gate to gain entry into Europe.


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That Particular Line

I went to hunt for that line. Thinking the severity it might be, it seems that I am just over sensitive or perhaps it has been further amplified beyond exaggeration which boils my hurt. Never, you would understand what I think again because a fair line has drawn in between. The night we loitering around the park trying to drink and unwind the tangling vexation hoping it will varnish into the thin air. These scenes though flashing vividly around the pupils but they are all past. Reading from line to line, I know I have been constantly updated on the progress but mind me to forget the interval between each update. It was hectic. I am only be updated when I show colour which the reason is not even because I was outdated. I know you always opt for the best win-win solution that would benefit both parties. At certain instance, I believe I failed to build up firm foundation of trust on you the day I received skeptical comment. Being silent is to observe when will my hypothesis and assumption be proven. Be it established or disproved. I will render time to judge it's dignity. I am clear of the fine line and make sure it will never be broken. A broken line although can be sealed by adhesive but it could never as good as the original.

A brother for life.

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Evaluation

One day I will evaluate myself and the importance of your existence. I will persuade and convince myself not to be ignorant again.

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Emotionless

I just don't know why I lost the faith in you. The moment when I find out more about you, the more I feel tired to initiate a convo with you. After completing last few errands which have indirect connections with you, we shall walk in opposite direction. To you, I am emotionless.

Maybe It Ends

I couldn't find your link anymore. Where did you move to? Or maybe I don't even have your address saved in my contacts. This is the second fall we spend together but I prefer the old you when solidarity was virtue. Because I have learnt to be more independent thus distance is widen. Even a golden triangle lost one of the lines, it can still be a beautiful straight line. Let time wash away the pain, let the melancholy memory fade in this mockable history.

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Shit

I think you are a batu api
And I fell into your trap

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NDC Aftermath

Practically tiring today, but at least I didn't miss any lesson. Even if I have to miss the MFD lecture, I don't think it bother me much because I usually sleep during that lecture. All the craps lecturers of this sem demotivate me to study. I foresee this as a threat to bear a fruitful me.

I was in total astonishment and stressed this morning the moment when I recall that I supposed to wear long pants instead of shorts at the bus stop. JJ's reminder text further wind up the already tensed nerves after I boarded the bus. Situation gained worse after I arrived the venue where it seems that I was the only one exposing my legs in the air. I was in great dismay although I didn't really show it up as I think strictly obeying instructions and rules have became very crucial in part of life to keep up with personal's discipline. This really shows how much attention I rendered during the last mass meeting and has indirectly proved that there is still a gap for perfectionism to be totally achieved although this seems impossible.

Flipping through the second page of thoughts, I seriously think that this year NDC wasn't as crowded as last year's one. As I can see, those performers on stage were actually singing and dancing mostly to entertain the committees and EXCOs as I see a wave of red and orange waving around. I don't know whether this is our part which failed to conform a good publicity. But the answer will leave unknowingly unless thorough inspection is carried out. But due to my understanding, I think it could be something to do with the common test week which most students would not be bothered by this kind of event.

Overall, I do see this event running in success. But from my point of view which I had attended the mass meeting twice and committee meeting once, leaders who supposed to make execution were overtook by some more outstanding members. A scenario where committee members could drive the decision and outcast the head. During the evaluation, some gamers reflected that there was glitch as in the lacking of manpower but I don't understand why we have around 60 the so called elites around and this problem still persist. In secondary school which the most significant event I had organised was a state level (involving the entire Sarawak) camp and at that time we only have about 32 committees with some ex-EXCOs coming back to aid us. Today's event was far more smaller in size compared to a camp as we only need to accommodate for games, prizes and performance. Neither food is prepared or served nor accommodation is needed. And I don't know whether there was first aid team on standby today, if it was I am glad, if not I assume what I reflected was just for the sake of nodding. In general, I rate this event 3.5/5 and myself 2.5/5.

p/s: I need to forget the past because anger wouldn't stay long if I stop pumping fuel to myself. As simple as a person die from starving if he is not supplied with food. You know exactly what I am thinking and I need not to reply. If you could, you should be able to scan my mind and understand what it thinks and what it makes to give you cold response. Guilt started to build up as I think I am the one making mistake.

When It exceeds The Point

When it passes beyond the point of limit

I will just fuck care

When I hear something from others

Which I supposed to hear from you

It is very saddening

You walk your shiny path

And I walk my pathetic story

And this is how you response in return

I don't really mind actually

-

p/s: I dreamed I walked under the London Bridge and unknowingly having lunch in Eiffel Tower. After lunch, I walked out the restaurant and I was inside the Colosseum of Rome. While snapping the fascinating scene, I felt the ground started to wobble and when I look down, I was standing on a Gondola travelling across the Grand Canal in Venice.

Randomness

Best Longchamp advertisement/poster ever

*sweet couple of the class*

当漫长更漫长

看得见，却摸不着。一行行肃立着，以白为背景，以黑色的盔甲，在难以辨别的无奈下，为将军们画上绚丽的衣裳，盼许着凯旋而归，胜利的瞬间。看似渺小，却背负着积少成多的古典智慧，欲腾龙驾凤，非得费上相当的牺牲，混杂着被忽略的心灵对话。缺少了解，是失败的原因。明明晓得问题的根本，但无从对症下药。这是一个问题，问题中的问题，是考验所在。明白却无力，是在综横交错血管中最大的阻塞。灰暗的灯光，拉长着徐徐的背影，衬托着影子的背光带着梦想的寄托，影子中死气沉沉的静态，粉碎了白日梦的无知，徘徊着的当下，找到了生命的灰色地带。

Past

I miss the old you.

生命只是一个过程

人来的时候两手空空

走的时候不也是这样

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQCgbfoh7Sg&feature=share

Two Parts

1. Happy Birthday brother (24 July)

It was a special day for me to celebrate Andrew's birthday. I believe this was the first birthday celebration which I made a lot of effort to make it work. Despite the whining I made while waiting for the host, I should be blamed for a thousand times. A lot of first time in record, the first time I bought an iPhone as a present, and he told me that was also his first time to receive an iPhone as present. To me brotherhood is not judge by value of materialism, is how much you willing to share of what you have. As long as within my ability to render your needs, I am always ready to give. Once for a lifetime.

2. I Am Rectified (26 July)

My twitter quote of the day "I refuse to acknowledge perfection is virtue, since leak is now discoverable, healing process should be sped up to march towards better."

I have been on this topic with my advisor for quite some time but we are still indecisive for what action to be taken. I remember once she said "Are you sure you still want to find a replacement? We actually have problem dealing with such a big group of people, I was trying to cut down the amount to stay in board as I think it will be easier for us to control the whole." "No, I think having more manpower is beneficial for future event." "Do you have that much confidence." "I suppose."

It seems that I was overlooked the situation and overconfident at the same time. I always ignore problems which already persist and look positive at times. Until I was been questioned this evening which made me do not know whether to advance or to retreat at that awkward moment. I believe in a board of execution, everyone plays their role and their respective importance should not be neglected. But this time round people seems to neglect themselves at the first place. Disciplinary action was initially sentenced but I on hold to it. I will need to reconsider and closed-up meeting with advisor as I have seen this an influential issue if an outsider could question and challenge the dignity of our esteem. Despite only the minority, but I wish to goal a perfect board out of the best situation I could handle with.

p/s: We didn't force you to join us. We open to all and allow those who are interested to come forward and sit for an interview. But after you succeeded the interview, you forgot why in the first place did you come for an interview. If you don't even want to get the job, don't waste everybody's time. Be thoughtful and considerate. Leave the opportunity to those who are ready to initiate.

Undoubtedly, this is a great challenge for me.

Sia

[Lullaby] by [Sia] from [Some People Have Real Problems]

Send a wish upon a star

Do the work and you'll go far

Send a wish upon a star

Make a map and there you are

Send a hope upon a wave

A dying wish before the grave

Send a hope upon a wave

For all this souls you failed to save

And you stood tall

Now you will fall

Don't break the spell

Of a life spent trying to do well

And you stood tall

Now you will fall

Don't break the spell

Of a life spent trying to do well

Send a question in the wind

It's hard to know where to begin

So send the question in the wind

And give an answer to a friend

Place your past into a book

Put in everything you ever took

Place your past into a book

Burn the pages let them cook

And you stood tall

Now you will fall

Don't break the spell

Of a life spent trying to do well

And you stood tall

Now you will fall

Don't break the spell

Of a life spent trying to do well

[Repeat chorus]

Send a wish upon a star

Send a wish upon a star

-

Download link here

Talent

Everyone has his talent which he is inborn with

We should do hard on it and try to polishing it up

Instead of trying to correct our weaknesses

Talent is something you are gifted

That distinguish you from others

Where at certain instance you are good at certain things

I don't mean that weaknesses should be totally neglected but we should focus more on talent

Imagine that if a person is good in drawing but not singing

He should nurture his talent in drawing instead of trying to sing like David Cook

In the end he should end up like a great artist

But if he chose to practice more in singing rather than drawing

he might end up singing like a normal person at average

But in comparison

His achievement in singing wouldn't be as good as in drawing

Let's take Newton as an example

He is good in understanding Physics and Algebra

He carried out numerous research which subsequently contributed to today's Physics

But if he chose to study more on Biology or Chemistry

He might not be crowned as one of the Maths prince in the history

So do you get my point?

The important thing in life is you should know where your strong point stays

Discover it and further brushing it up to let it shine

But at the same time you should also take care of your weaknesses

But don't render as much attention as to your strong point

The code 234

It was a meeting initially drafted to discuss about the camp's committee

But right after the deputy left you started to change topic

You start asking about my family background, secondary life etc

You also told me about your family too

I was in real astonishment that you actually observe me all these while!

Asking my family background to further affirm your earlier statement

You were like giving prophecy

Or perhaps you actually read my mind

You go into every single line of the proposal in details

Which I must admit that I learned so much more today than what I was in secondary

Concerning how to ready a good proposal

This is the ever first time I feel you

like how some of my secondary teachers treat me as their child

That they really care about you

-

"I foresee your leadership during the prize giving ceremony,

you actually can lead and firm at your place but you talk too soft.

You should appear to be firmer in your tone to let more people listen to you.

Don't you feel that some people actually think why should a soft talking guy

outstand them to become their leader. They are actually unhappy.

It should appear alright in the future when you step in the society where

I believe you are capable of becoming manager or leading a board.

But during the time in school, you must remember that those who can speak loud win

*she slammed the table and trying to act like big boss - she was trying to demonstrate me how to talk louder and firmer*

You are lack of "wind" in talking.

If you do observe closely, I actually speak differently to you all and with my colleagues.

Anyway, in your family, are you the eldest or youngest?

*then continue with my family story*"

-

I should say that I really appreciate the way you try to pull me and polish me up

You keep involving me in most of the core planning events in the school

Which usually a DPE student wasn't given a chance to do so

You expose me to a wider opportunity like the recent

Brainstorming session for Open House 2012

Students usually don't get to participate in the planning of the event

But only in the running of this event

But I am honoured to get involved this time

And you let me represent the MF students during Open House 2012

What a fame!

-

One day

I shall proof you that

"Nothing is impossible"

-

p/s: You should be proud of yourself that even you wasn't in the top 2. But she loves you so much. She told me that she wants to polish you up especially the part where you shy to voice up your opinion. Even she never mention the reason why she dragged you down despite the higher vote cast you obtained. I believe this is her effort trying to keep the balance in between two programmes where fair equality is seek among the representatives from both side. She is trying her best not to upset any of them and to be tipped it as a biased move. She thinks far and has prudent vision.

情有独钟

有一种感觉无法解释

有一种冲动无法控制

在秒针瞬间移动的那一刻

化学的产生

无法预知的结果

就像赌下了一注

假设似是似非般

像是被推翻

像是证明了什么

-

眼珠传达的画面

刺激了那一根的神经

灵魂的一震

麻痹了理智

吹眠了视线

此时，存在的只是那个信仰

-

一夏一春的一闪

岁数不断往上攀

始终有个顶点

因为在意很多的过去

酿就了今天许多的遗憾

从过去走过的路上

恢复的伤口

伤疤是一次又一次经验的累积

很多身外物

不是一直长久的

即使在口袋划下了一刀

在你开心畅怀时

嘴角撩起的那一刻

一切都值得了

-

幸会

In Fear

In your reply you told me that you will get back to me

tonight after you came back from oversea

But till now I have not receive any response from you

Please don't prank on me

This piece of stuff

Meant a lot to me

I must get the deal

Snoopy and Woodstock

Most consuming preparation I ever made

In means of time, energy and money

I wonder why your surname is not mine or vice versa

A Change

I cannot stand it any longer

After long consideration

I still decided to smash on it

And let it move on

Beginning of the End

Watched Harry Potter 7 finale

-

"Beginning Of The End"

-

Every time when a cycle is near to an end

A new round of incubation is occurring

Injecting new excitement to the going to be dullness

To an extent of infinity

-

I have foreseen in what I have to confront

Temper has been shorten

Prolonged time frame is now yesterday

Anger is now in the envelop of soft tissue

It is vulnerable to anything fiery

-

p/s: I was so shocked that a name of origin could catch so much attention especially when leaving you out. I wasn't in particular of the current city I am in because every piece of memory here is part of my living soul. The more noise you made, the more I realise the value of friendship. I was once brought up in a wrong concept.

I Know You Know

Staying up to 2am is not your style. Even if you don't tell, I sensed. I fuck care already.


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Miscellaneous

Doing reshuffling for the board

We will be emphasising on the importance of keeping up performance

We are event based

Major event based

And thus we need people capable of major event

New member will be introduced

New move will be injected too

Stepping Out

I was standing firmly on ground

As if both my foots were glued

Pretending I was a statue

But soon my confidence has shattered

I admit that

Everything changed after all

In the event of pranking

Can't you hear my hint?

-

I walked towards you

Standing by side

Giving you a glimpse

Awaiting a response

But soon silence has built up sense of insecure

Moving away

With hard pace

With a deep wailing breath

I Heart You

Kuching

Melbourne

Perth

Auckland

Washington DC

Kajang

Kuala Lumpur

-

Cities where all important people of me live in

Undulation

I always find the weather good

Day and night repeating

One day I look back

I see a humongous trunk soars high into the horizon

I start wondering when was it there

All those good days I have been enjoyed were because of the tree?

Is the tree a silent defender giving me all the assurance of goodness?

-

Even the strongest part has a point

A point where no one should ever try to mock

A limit where an extreme is believed to happen

Boiling water over its boiling point can arise pressure giving away high force

Striding big pace around the track pushing you to move beyond walking - run

Giving full strength of your foot on the accelerator will speed up your vehicle

-

A border

Where it distinguish two different states from the left and the right

If the extreme could yield a desire result

Why not?

If the risk of vice versa shall persist

Stay clear and don't put yourself at stake

Avert any worst case scenario

-

Faith levitates in air

We both breathe our belief

What is the purpose of bringing down the ideology which we have mutually upheld

I was caught in anger at the first second

But emotion had shattered at the second second

Disappointment at the first moment

But I recalled what has costed me more in a long run

I shouldn't impose pressure when you are actually under one

It is too difficult for me to make even a mumble

for a string of 5 letters

-

Shall I shed a tear or two

It/They reflect(s) what the deepest part of heart has taken

-

Reality is sometimes a dream

We woke up and forgot everything

The Peugeot

Me is want this car

the Peugeot 308 cc

-

and Benz S-class, BMW 5 and X5 and Audi A5 and TT

-

I will earn a million and buy them all

Don't run away from my car porch!

I Miss You

Twitter is the only reason why the heart keeps beating

<3

A Little Changing Bathroom

Actually I am quite uneasy to see my bottles of toiletries been putting on the ground in the bathroom since long time ago.
So this afternoon I decided to take an initiative to do a little change - by fixing an organiser onto the wall.



So I bought this from NTUC which is nearby. Wanted to head down to IKEA but you know the word lazy right.



So yeah, my bottles of shampoo, conditioner, shower gel and body scrub look more organized now. This improved aesthetic view has added more joyous whenever I am taking shower.

p/s: I think we need a talk. A lot of stuff have been popping out of mind and can never be easily solved just by a few sentences in Skype. Not only I need to clarify my doubts, but I also want to share some of my walks lately. Needless to mention, I think you know yourself.

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Last Sentence.

If this is not puppy love

Forget about the egotism

If you wish to keep it

Good luck.

If Time Could Rewind

If time could rewind

I will avoid all the silliness

Holding tight of the right moments

Learn to love and to be loved

One year

And so many had happened

-

p/s: I just couldn't believe I tear at this moment

One More Time, You Whore!

I believe my life is not as misery as yours

I don't have countless friends like you

Who don't serve their purpose in times of need

But I have a handful of brothers

A philosophy of which you can never understand nor experience

Cause you never have one

Or maybe you have but you never realise or cherish the moment

Stop being a whore

And I won't leave

I once said and will keep the promise till the very end

Providing the earlier statement is true

Our Beloved Country - Malaysia.

Which part of this upholds the peace and stability of our country?

The doused woman or her obvious misery because of Malaysia today?

-

The principle is simple

We demand a peaceful walk towards the iconic Stadium Merdeka

In the dress of yellow which symbolize "Bersih" (clean)

Covering a wide scope of area including

a more transparent electoral board

a less corrupted government

a fair politic

all for an aim

To achieve a better tomorrow for Malaysia

-

But let's see what has turned up to be?

Cops set up roadblocks to halter public from entering the capital

causing crackdown of Kuala Lumpur

Up next, tear gas and water cannon to disperse the crowd

Which the cops claimed them to endanger the national public security

and accusing them for affecting the central business district

But now you stupid fuck asshole police go and set up roadblocks

Blocking all sort of people from entering the downtown

Now who is the culprit causing the trouble?

Bersih keeps on emphasising that they demand a peaceful walk but not a riot

But you police (puppet of BN) is fear of the 8 propaganda which the Bersih has declared

If you could stand firm in front of these accusation

Why would you even need to waste the national asset

(which belongs to every Malaysian)

To summon thousands of police to set up barrier across the capital

Where I thought police was supposed to fight criminals

Are the patriots robbers, rapists, traffickers?

The most inhuman part is when you bitchy cops even attacked hospital!

What the fuck?!

Did you even think before you act?

Imagine what if some of the patients inside died because of your naive move?

Well, it actually happened

Allahyarham Baharuddin, a patriot who died during the rally

He is believed to be chased by police which caused an asthma attack that took away his life

So what now?

Are you police going to take up the responsibility?

Or will the case be closed and hid into

the "Malaysia book of dark" like the Antatuya and Teoh Beng Hock case?

Shame on you, not Malaysia but the Barisan Nasional

Even after you lost 2/3 majority during the 308 political tsunami

You never learn

By trying dirty tricks and manipulating the electoral board

You thought you still can fool the people?

Despite the heavily preached "1 Malaysia" by Najib

We never see us an united Malaysia until the rally earlier this afternoon

All Malaysians regardless of race, religion and background come as one

To defend democracy and to reject the corrupted government

BN response which refused to reflect themselves and the tactic

To counter attack the armless people has further geared up the anger

Today is the beginning of a new chapter

Najib be the next Mubarak

Is not that you're not good

But I believe the national's progress should not be haltered by someone incompetent

-

Sincerely,

I love Malaysia