杰克故事: A Listener or A Getaway

Past 1.5 month was never easy on me. I was pretty happy the first few weeks having freedom doing what I love to but it didn't last long when it eventually gets boring where I have to interact with myself everyday. Thanks to the people I have met in Kuching who set foot in Singapore in early July and August where I have a little time filled with socialisation. I don't know why I have this feeling, the feeling of being lost in life. Do we always have to study, work, fall in love, get married, have children, build a family, buy a home, get a car, aging and eventually die. Is this cycle forever going to be the same and to repeat after one another generation? I am a person who doesn't after the usual phenomenon. I love to do things of how I feel it should, not thru the publicly recognised and deemed to be usual pattern.

In the following week when I find myself getting sick from the dull life I have started to do something different. For the first time I have engaged my soul in art. I started to listen to very unique genre music probably those artists who create their one-of-a-kind classification or alternative. Like Of Monster and Men, Daughter, Miss Li and so. Sadly according to UberFacts - Teenagers who spend much of their time listening to music are more likely to be depressed. Maybe I no longer fit in the teenager's category which then there is another fact also from UberFacts - Music helps reduce anxiety, as well as helps the mind and body cope with stress. Both statements somehow coherent to each other. Music - the mother of emotional sway but also the answer to it.

Medicine by Daughter

Art in the visual way. I made a little "renovation" here and there in my room to kill time also to make myself feeling more relaxed with more random visual impact that projects upon me when I enter the room. With IKEA and Daiso I get to source many of my painting materials, frame, pictures and decorative accessories easier and much more affordable.

Frames and art cards from IKEA

White lantern from IKEA

I paint it with colours

With the art cards in the frames and the painted lantern.

I lit it up with scented candle at night,

giving soft beam of yellow light at night

and the soothing scent that aids my sleeping

Fixed up a wall shelf from IKEA

Canvas wall art featuring cities (IKEA)

Place some miniature cactus and succulent on top (some from IKEA some from AMK florist)

A wooden human block (joints can be formed into different posture)

A standing white frame (IKEA)

and Campbell Soup coinbox (bundle free gift when I bought the canned soup from NTUC)

Few books with book-end (from Daiso)

This is a general view of my bed, window and the wall shelf.

I hang a 2 metre fabric on the ceiling facing my bed

(The hangers are actually made for hanging towel in bathroom but I customized it for ceiling, it's from Daiso for only $2, so why not?=) )

Giving me some imagination whenever I lie on bed and looking into the ceiling

A good way to stimulate my mind for thoughts

When I lie on bed and look upon, this is the kind of view

The reason why I have time to do all the things mentioned above is because my application for EP (employment pass) got rejected. According to my company that MOM has recently tighten the rules for the pass seeing high influx of foreign talent into Singapore. They are doing appeal now which I don't think it's gonna work. I consulted EDB and NYP they both pushing their responsibility off and didn't want to bother much. My sixth sense directs me that I am leaving this tiny red dot for good and for studies very soon. Well, sixth sense may not be true at least for the next few weeks. While being placed in pending very likely I will start doing some study for uni that accept credit transfer in both Australia (particularly Melbourne) and the States (Virginia, DC and maybe Boston). Speaking of which I have a hard mixed feelings as if I really do leave I will miss the goods in Singapore, particularly the ease of public transport and the greenery of Fort Canning, Botanical Garden and Gardens by the Bay as well as some of my classmates and friends. Feeling relieved when I no longer have to deal with an almost fully urbanized community where profit and personal interest always come first, people who have left a scar in my life to remember along my path towards graduation.

"At the verge of meritocracy and personal benefits,

Singapore serves as an eye-opener for me

to understand the world is not made up

of just cheerful looks and innocent smiles

from where I come from.

Mundanity has become a vocabulary

far beyond my ability of comprehension."